9 Reasons Why This Week Won’t Suck (July 21-24)


If the summer doldrums have you slumped on the couch, cowering from the heat, at least you’ll have plenty to entertain yourself with as you plant your couch potato roots. There are tons of intriguing new games and movies coming out this week, with the latest downloadable episode of The Walking Dead game and Johnny Depp‘s Transcendence leading the charge. If you want to watch people being athletic while remaining immobile yourself, you can take in American Ninja Warrior or a Giants-Phillies game, and erase all memories of everything you’ve played and watched Thursday by getting wasted on National Tequila Day.

One Piece

One Piece: Unlimited World Red and One Piece: Unlimited World R

(out now)
The zany, pirate-themed JRPG series cranked out two flavors of its latest adventure. There’s Unlimited World Red, a traditional, robust affair for the PS3, and Unlimited World R, the quick-hit-friendly, scaled-down version on the 3DS. Both will keep you occupied for dozens of hours, especially if you take the time to actually ready all the copious dialogue rather than skip it all so you can move on to the combat and loot collection.

American Ninja Warrior: Miami Finals

(Monday 9 p.m., NBC)
The game show grabbed the internet’s attention with the mind-blowing moment of the 5-foot-nothing gymnast owning an obstacle course, so we’ll see what it’s got in store for a follow-up. Crazy-talented (and also crazy and talented) athletes do impossible stuff for the right to get to the finals in Vegas and compete for $500,000. LeBron, persona non grata in Miami these days, will definitely not be there.
All Cheerleaders Die

All Cheerleaders Die on Blu-ray/DVD


It’s cheerleaders against football players in this zombie horror comedy. The skirt-wearing ladies, who perish while trying to one-up the cocky football players, come back one by one as undead bringers of destruction in the rematch. Check out the trailer here. There’s a 20-minute featurette with cast interviews on the disc.

Emilia Clarke

Dom Hemingway on Blu-ray/DVD


Jude Law steps out of his pretty boy comfort zone to play the title character, a hardscrabble safe cracker who gets out of prison to collect the payday he’s waited 12 years to score. Emilia Clarke, Daenerys from Games of Thrones, plays his hot daughter whose heart he tries to win back. Filmmaker commentary and a making-of featurette pad out the disc.



Oddworld: Abe’s Odysee New ‘n’ Tasty


Originally released on 1997 for the PlayStation, the side-scrolling platformer is back as a PS4 download, remade with better graphics, smoothed-out controls and new levels. You play as a slave warrior whose mouth has been sewn shut and is out for revenge against his oppressors. We’ll see how well the zany 90s humor holds up.


Rebecca Hall

Transcendence on Blu-ray/DVD


In this mind-blowing cyberpunk head trip,, Johnny Depp plays a mad computer scientist who manages to meld his consciousness into artificial intelligence, turning him into an immortal megalomaniac who also happens to be a jerk of a boyfriend to Rebecca Hall. The Blu-ray/DVD/digital copy combo includes filmmaker commentary, a look at how the clever visual effects were created and viral shorts used to promote the film.


The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead: Season 2 Episode 4Amid the Ruins

Telltale Games’ point-and-click adventure game treatment of the undead saga is arguably better than the TV show or comics. The second-to-last episode in season 2, available on the PS3, Vita, Xbox 360 and iOS, follows heroine Clementine’s quest to come of age as she claws to survive and retain her humanity in the face of relentless despair. Someone should give poor Clem a cookie or something.

Madison Bumgarner

Phillies at Giants

(Wednesday 7 p.m. EST, ESPN)
Giants all-star smoke-thrower Madison Bumgarner takes the mound against the Phillies’ A.J. Burnett, who is struggling through an off year. The Giants are neck-and-neck with the Dodgers in the NL West race, while the stacked Phillies continue their recent struggles, looking up in the NL East standings to everyone, including the Miami Marlins.


National Tequila Day

Whether you prefer to down the Mexican agave-based poison as a shot or in margarita form, you’re cleared to start your weekend early by celebrating tequila’s very own holiday. At least you’ll have an excuse for repeating the poor decisions you made on Cinco de Mayo.
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