magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

The “Swiss Cheese Pervert” Pleads Guilty, Won’t Ride Again



Well, the infamous Swiss Cheese Pervert  pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and harassment charges for flashing several women while holding slices of cheese. He wasn’t holding a slice of cheese while pleading guilty. We mean that he was holding the cheese while approaching the women. At least, we hope he wasn’t allowed to hold cheese in the courtroom. That could’ve gone wrong.

Anyway, the bandit will not ride again–at least for now. The pervert (or Christopher Pagano, if you want to call him by his actual name) entered a guilty plea before a Philadelphia municipal court judge on Thursday. He received eight years probabation and has to serve sex offender counseling.

In case you don’t remember the cheesy details from his encounters–Pagano would drive up to the female victims and ask if they’d like to be paid to watch him rub cheese on his genitals. The, whether the girls wanted it or not, he’d start rubbing the cheese down there himself. Let’s just hope the counseling helps and Pagano can put an end to his strange obsession. Or, at least, bothering strangers about his strange obsession. Otherwise, we’d just rather not know about what Pagano is doing with the cheese, and we think a lot of the world would agree.

  • COED Writer
    Perpetually recovering from the night before. @twitter @email @website