Amazing Spider-Man 2 is in theaters now, and–well, it’s not as bad as the first Amazing Spider-Man. We don’t have to suffer through another origin story, and the villains are (almost) balanced out okay in the script. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone have settled nicely into being Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, although a lot of the romantic storyline is lost with Andrew playing a Spidey-Stalker. If we were going to use our superpowers to monitor a loved one, we’d mostly be crawling outside of the penthouses of Victoria’s Secret models.
Anyway, there’s no reason for guys to go unprepared into Amazing Spider-Man 2. If you’re a big comic-book fan, you’ll want to get ready for a few highlights and some disappointments. If you’re a regular guy who doesn’t read comics, then we’ll give you some clues about the meaning of certain characters. We think that we’re fairly SPOILER-free here, too–although, yeah, the first thing you need to know is just something that’s totally bugging us…
1) In regards to the opening scene where we get the background on Peter Parker’s parents: If you’re ever in a depressurized airplane, chances are that your Cat-5 cable probably isn’t really going to be strong enough to keep you from flying out the window. That’s why Peter Parker uses the webbing…
2) This guy shows up in the graduation scene early in the movie, so it’s nice to have that out of the way…
3) You should really see the Amazing Spider-Man 2 in 3D just to appreciate all the thought that goes into the extensive web-slinging scenes where Spidy is swinging around New York City. That’s especially true for the film’s big finish–but there’s this plot that keeps getting in the way…
4) Jamie Foxx was probably told to play nerdy OsCorp engineer Max Dillon with a great deal of humanity. The problem is that Jamie Foxx plays Max Dillon more like some guy with Asperger Syndrome, and the same goes for when Max Dillon is transformed into Electro. The rest of the movie feels like cheering on Spider-Man to beat up this guy…
5) What this guy says–and, really, it’s worse than just having a bad time, because you pretty much saw everything for free in the trailers…
6) That reminds us that this is the second comic-book movie in a row–after Captain America: The Winter Soldier–where the movie’s final moment is prominently featured in the trailers…
7) B.J. Novak shows up as Alistair Smythe, so Spider-Man comic fans will know that might mean killer Spider-Slayer robots in the franchise’s future. Felicity Jones is in the movie as a character named Felicia, and we’re thinking she’s being set up to become Spidey’s femme fatale as the Black Cat (probably for the upcoming Sinister Six movie featuring Spider-Man villains)–but she never appears dressed like this….
8) Remember how Spider-Man used Bing back in 2012? In this one, Spider-Man conveniently holds on to a bunch of subway tokens, which we’re pretty sure haven’t been used in New York City since 2003…
9) If you’re a comic-book fan, then Amazing Spider-Man 2 has the most perfect recreation ever of a classic comic-book scene. The previous best depiction was in Ben Affleck‘s crappy Daredevil movie, but the effectiveness of Elektra’s death was undermined by the need for a happy ending. That’s less of a concern here. And if you’re a comic-book fan, then this outfit is a SPOILER…
10) And that final post-credits scene isn’t some kind of Spidey/X-Men crossover. It’s just a plug for X-Men: Days of Future Past, just like the post-credits scene in Thor: The Dark World was really a plug for Guardians of the Galaxy, so there’s no new ground being broken here–but it’s a great first look at Plague and the latest take on Toad, plus it’s always good to see this guy…
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