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Kentucky Wins, Fans Set Fires, Cops Brag About Relative Lack of Fires


kentucky couch fire

Every town has their own unique way of celebrating their local sports heroes’ victories (apparently, the University of Dayton’s ritual involves trying the men trying to creep out as many women as possible). As evidenced by their big win against No. 2 Michigan, Kentucky can only show their appreciation for their team by trying to set the city on fire so the team can see the flames from whereever they are playing.

Last night was no exception. The Lexington Herald-Reader reported that in one night, fire crews responded to 27 fire calls that were intentionally set leading to just three arrests. A spokeswoman for the police department bragged that “You literally could count the number of serious issues we had on both hands.” We found just a taste of the minor carnage on YouTube and it does seem pretty well contained, even though we’re dealing with something as powerful and dangerous as f#*$ing fire!

Of course, we’re glad that no one got hurt and the damage wasn’t nearly as bad as the riots that broke out after their beloved Kentucky Wildcats actually won the big game back in 2012. However, the reports still feel a little restrained this time around. Consider the headline at the original link here: “27 fires, 3 arrests aside, celebratory crowds earn praise from Lexington police.”

Bragging that your fans only started 27 fires this time is like the mother of an insane child bragging that the number of neighborhood pets their precious one has slaughtered is down overall for the week. Sure, there were only 27 fires but this is just one win before the big win. Doesn’t it feel like they setting themselves up for something even bigger and more destructive if they manage to actually take home the big championship trophy in Dallas?
  • COED Writer
    I'm human. I swear.