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Florida Man Caught Choking His McChicken in McDonald’s Parking Lot



The New York Jets’ Kellen Winslow no longer has to feel alone in this crazy, cruel world. Someone in Florida has also been caught in a parking lot in an embarrassing position in life.  [Image via kennymatic/Flickr]

The latest incident happened in (where else?) Florida. According to, police arrested Spencer Toner on an indecent exposure charge for allegedly masturbating in his car in the parking lot of a McDonald’s. Someone at the restaurant witnessed the incident and called the authorities. A sheriff’s deputy who clearly doesn’t make enough to merit witnessing such a sight spotted Toner “keeping himself busy” in the front seat of his Mercedes Benz.

Spencer also had a laptop computer in the car with pornographic pictures displayed on the screen. He told the deputy who knocked on his window that he was just there to “get a bite to eat.” He also reportedly told people at the restaurant who complained about his behavior that they were invading his privacy. I think I speak for every human being with a working set of eyes that would be more than happy not to invade such a man’s privacy.

This incident is more than a little similar to Winslow’s arrest. According to ESPN, New Jersey police may have arrested the tight end for possession of synthetic marijuana but they were originally called to the scene because a woman complained that he was also allegedly slamming his ham in the parking lot of a Target in East Hanover. When police approached him, he also claimed he was just looking to get a bite to eat but he couldn’t find the nearest Boston Market. Is that the best excuse he could come up with? He makes a ton of money playing professional football. He at least could have aimed a little higher and come up with something a little more plausible by saying he was looking for a Shoney’s or a Shake Shack.

COED Writer
I'm human. I swear.