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Rachel Halliwell,–YouTube user and hot-bodied practitioner of the pole-dancing arts–posted a video of herself in action that shows how even the hottest of bodies can always use a bit more practice on the pole. Even though there’s something even uniquely sexy when these routines end in crashes, curse words, and/or knocked-over furniture. Arousingly bungled case in point: Rachel’s clip simply titled, “Pole Dance Fail”.

In the video description, Rachel explains: “This was my first attempt at an inverted crucifix! Not a great idea considering I had no crash mats, so it’s my own fault it ended badly. Haha. Definitely need to work on my leg grip.”

Yes, Rachel definitely needs to work on her leg grip. And she definitely needs to do it over and over again in those skin-tight gray booty shorts and she definitely needs to put each and every one of those further attempts online. Sure, crash mats might be advisable, but then maybe so would we maybe coming up with a less loaded term for this move than “inverted crucifix”—but, hey, who are we to challenge the pole-dance lexicon?

Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go work on our own “grip” technique. It does not involve any leg.

  • COED Writer