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The world has long been properly awestruck by Lemmy Kilmister as the god-of-thunder bassist for primordial heavy metal powerhouse Motörhead, as well as his being the living, boozing, recklessly speeding embodiment of rock-and-roll’s most riotous impulses and abandon.

But what of Lemmy Kilmister, master thespian?

COED honors Lemmy today on his sixty-eighth birthday with a look back at the gravel-throated rock monster’s parallel career as an instant special effect on the big screen.


Aside from contributing the theme song to this supremely British cult satire, Lemmy lights up a dismal cocktail party by patting a female reveler on the tush, moseying up to the soiree’s cheesy disco band’s microphone, and ripping into “Doctor Rock”. Watch for Motörhead’s Phil “Philty Animal” Taylor on drums.


The post-apocalyptic horror/sci-fi saga Hardware matches Motörhead: it’s alternately high-tech hard and brute caveman savage. Lemmy seems like a natural fixture as a result, playing the driver of a taxi-boat who rants about the collapse of societal standards. “Used to be you could just walk down here anytime,” he laments. “You could go out on a Saturday night with just brass knuckles, nothin’ else!”



The rock farce Airheads with Adam Sandler, Steve Buscemi, and Brendan Fraser features a scene that especially resonates with heavy metal fans. Amidst a mob of headbangers, one brave soul after another shouts out a truth from his nerdy past. Among them is Lemmy, who chimes in: “I was editor of the school magazine!” He’s followed by Stuttering John Melendez, whose confession is apropos to the following movie selection.


John Wayne Bobbitt became an instant ’90s media sensation the night his angry wife Lorena took a knife to his privates and then tossed the extracted organ from a speeding car. Bobbitt then chose not to quietly recover from reattachment surgery, but instead to milk his manhood’s misfortunes to the hilt. John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut is the adult video that launched the modern era of celebrity sex tape psychosis. Lemmy guest stars as the passerby who first stumbles across John Wayne’s disembodied Bobbit. Gazing down, Lemmy grunts: “Looks like a dick! Oh, well… it’s not mine, at least.”


Lemmy began his ongoing association with New York schlock studio Troma Films as the on-camera narrator Tromeo and Juliet, a gross-out reworking of Shakespeare’s famous play of a similar title. Lemmy went on to appear in the other Troma efforts Terror Firmer (1999), Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000), and Return to Nuke ’Em High Volume 1 (2013) wherein, at last, he plays “The President”.

COED Writer