BREAKING HUMAN NEWS: NY Jets Cornerback Antonio Cromartie To Get A Vasectomy

A sad, sad day for mankind. The greatest seed spreader known to homo-sapiens is hanging his banner up in the rafters. And by banner, I of course mean penis… kind of.

New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, who has impressively already spawned 10 kids of his own in less than 30 years of existence, has finally decided a Vasectomy is the wisest course of action in his life. A smart play to cut it off at the source because everyone knows there isn’t a condom strong enough to tame that super sperm. Well, maybe GLYDE.

The greatest part of this news comes from this snippet from the NY Post:

In 2012, it was reported several of the mothers of Cromartie’s children were attempting to star in a reality show together. The women felt in addition to the half-siblings growing closer, the women would be able to make more money than the $3,500 Cromartie reportedly paid six of the women at the time. Cromartie shot down the idea.

No wonder the man has trouble remembering all of his kids’ names.

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