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Former Child Star Bobby Hill Breaks Bad, Steals Diabetes Donations


There’s an APB out for a man who was caught on camera stealing a diabetes charity jar from a Mississippi Wawa.

Sgt. Christopher Parise of the Jackson, Mississippi, said police are on the lookout for a chubby young suspect who stole the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation charity can around 10:20 p.m. Sunday night. The police described the suspect a heavy-set male, about 5-feet-8 inches tall, with short hair in his early 20s. When photographed, the suspect was wearing blue shorts and had a black T-shirt with the phrase, “Started from the Bottom–now we’re here.”

The suspect was caught on camera. And it’s pretty obvious that the culprit is Bobby Hill. That’s right, folks. Hank’s kid from King of the Hill.

We knew that boy was going to grow up wrong. He wore a cape. His goal in life was to be a prop comic like Celery Head or Carrot Top or that guy that smashes watermelons–Gallagher, right? A prop comic. That’s the second lowest form of comedy after you wash out of Clown College.

But now Hank’s boy–the one who could fire a rifle without really trying–has hit bottom. Already on his way to obesity, the kid is obviously on a self-destructive cycle. Bobby is stealing money from the very charity that might do him good. If he’s not diabetic yet, he’ll be pricking his finger to see how many fruit pies he can eat before he goes into shock.

Bobby Hill was last seen leaving the store with another male in a in a silver sedan. If you see him, apprehend him. Just walk right up to the guy. How dangerous can he be? His father had a narrow urethra.

  • COED Writer
    Tony Sokol is a writer, playwright and musician. He has written for Silver Tongue, Wicked Mystic and other magazines. He has had over 20 plays produced in NYC, including Vampyr Theatre and the rock opera "AssassiNation: We Killed JFK". He appeared on the Joan Rivers (TV) Show, Strange Universe, and Britain's "The Girlie Show." He was born in Brooklyn, NY.