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Good News Everyone! Study Says The Smarter You Are, The More You Drink


So if this study is correct, I must be the lovechild of Einstein and that robot Watson who kicked everyone’s face in on Jeopardy!. Here is what the scientists said about the greatest study in human history:

Smarter people tend to drink “more frequently and in greater quantities” than their duller, drier peers. In two studies conducted in the United States and United Kingdom, children’s intelligence was measured and categorized in five groups ranging from “very dull” to “very bright.” When the study participants were assessed later in life (the Brits checked in from their 20s to their 40s) the “brighter” kids were the ones who emptied more glasses more often.

There you go you genius drunks. My alcoholic mother always said I was a bright one in the bunch. As I Irish my coffee at 8 AM, I now know she was right.

  • COED Writer