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The Billboard Awards was a Sea Awash in Gratuitous Cleavage


The Billboard Awards fell under our radar because of all the crazy stuff going on this week like the return of Arrested Development, the chatter created by pending premiere of Microsoft’s new Xbox and the thorough review we gave to Farrah Abraham’s new sex tape.┬áHere’s a preview: they should have hired a better lighting guy.

Besides, awards shows aren’t the most exciting things to write about because they aren’t organized or broadcast with fans in mind. They’re for the celebrities and their endless pursuit to remain celebrities by honoring their celebrity status with celebrity designed awards. It’s like Inception if all the cast members had their bodies in the anatomically impossible position so their heads were placed in a, shall we say, strategic area.

But based on some red carpet photos of the stars, we’re kind of sorry that we missed it. Stylite┬áreported the place was full of very attractive actresses and musicians who showed off lots of cleavage (and thankfully, Cee Lo Green wasn’t among them).

People like Shameless star Emmy Rossum, House and Star Trek star Jennifer Morrison and the dependable cleavage of Jennifer Lopez all showed up to the event in stylish dresses (or what little there were of them) that showed off a good bit of what the good Lord gave them. They all should have gotten an award just for showing up and brightening our day, even though it was technically a music awards show. Hell, if Justin Bieber can win one for barely producing something that resembles music, they can also give some out for “Top Cleavage in Attendance” while they’re at it.

COED Writer
I'm human. I swear.