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Christian Rocker Loved His Estranged Wife So Much He Plotted To Send Her To Heaven Early


Tim Lambesis, the front man for Christian Heavy Metal band As I Lay Dying, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of hiring a hit man to murder his estranged wife and mother of his three adopted children. According to the LA Times, Tim was arrested “without incident” while he was out shopping. Police acted when Tim tried to hire an undercover detective for murder.

Unlike Marketing Guy Theo, I’ve never even heard of As I Lay Dying but I am not surprised by this at all. Heavy Metal and Christianity don’t really work all that well.

It’s pretty hard to make room in the whole “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” thing. Just look at Scott Stapp from Creed (I said “look” not “listen”). Homeboy fronted arguably the largest Christian rock band in the history of the world and was arrested 3 times for domestic disputes, public intoxication, and a DUI. Oh, he also caught a blowjob from some groupies while hanging out with Kid Rock. I know that because there’s a video of it.

Of course, we could just be missing something. There’s always the chance that Tim loves his estranged wife so much that he wanted to send her to the pearly gates sooner rather than later. Christian metal-heads should probably start praying that Tim’s a**hole stays sanctimonious.

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    Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.