Mennonite, ite, Baby: Vanilla Ice Is “Going Amish” For New Reality TV Show

Vanilla Ice has a career that can defy the laws of gravity. His fame rose fast in the 1980s and fell just as hard. Then he continued to fall despite the fact that he returned to the Earth as if gravity itself was trying to suck him into the planet’s core like a smoothie drinker trying to suck up a chunk of fruit through their straw.

Vanilla’s sucking has not ceased even after reaching such legendary low points as hocking indoor lighting, trashing an MTV show set while the cameras were rolling and starring in a reality show on a third-tier cable channel. It’s literally just above turning to day laboring for a career.

Now he’s managed to find a low that’s bound to be lower than all those lows put together by starring in another reality show for the DIY Network that sticks him in an Amish community, according to the Huffington Post.

The rapper will travel to Ohio where he’ll live in an Amish neighborhood and learn how the unplugged people build barns and houses without the aid of power tools, electricity or any common sense. Of course, the only good thing about being Amish is that they never had to experience the horror of hearing a Vanilla Ice song for the first time, which is bound to change when ‘Nilla shows up and makes this whole experience even more wrong.

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