What Do Guys Really Mean When They Say Things? [He Said/She Said]

Guys are simple. Not in the stupid, slightly slow way, but in the “easy to understand” way. Unlike with women, there are only a few occasions where a man does not come across as completely forward. So just to make sure that men and women are on the same page close to 100% of the time, I’ve come up with a list of the rare instances where we won’t be telling the truth.

“It was just me and the guys.” OK, we both know it wasn’t just a sausagefest at the party we were at but the reason I’m not telling you who was there is because I don’t trust you not to wig out on me.

“I’m getting ready for bed and brushing my teeth. Can I call you back in a few?” I’m rubbing one out. Can I call you back in a few?

“I’m sorry.” … that you’re such a raging b*tch. Chill the f*ck out.

“You look so pretty.” I have a boner.

“Can I get your number?” There’s a slight chance I might call you later on next week. Having sex with me tonight either increases or decreases your chances. I just haven’t figured out which one it is.

“I’m just grabbing one drink.” I am going to go drink. I have no idea how long I’ll be there for.

“It’s fine.” Seriously, it is. Just drop it already.


Joe DeRosa’s Never Believeā€¦ In Chivalry
Joe DeRosa’s Never Believeā€¦ In Chivalry
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