Thankfully, wedding season is coming to an end. Two more to go and then I have no “save the dates” until Spring 2013.
What drives me most insane about weddings — besides the travel and the expense of a gift and the expense of traveling so you can give someone a gift — is that half of them aren’t even fun! Too many weddings have long boring ceremonies and uptight receptions. In fact, despite all the weddings I’ve been to, I’ve never once seen that staple of a solid party: the keg stand.
But wedding keg stands do exists. In fact, many brides have been caught on camera doing keg stands at their own wedding.
Here is a video breakdown of 16 different types of bride keg stands we found on the web:
1) The Crash Landing
Is there any worse etiquette than letting a woman fall during a keg stand ON HER WEDDING DAY?? Come on, guys. Step it up.
2) The Insufficient Pump
Second to letting your bride fall, is not having the keg pumped and ready to go. Seriously, dude? You convinced this girl to do a keg stand on her wedding, possibly embarassing her entire family in the process, and you didn’t get sufficient pressure in the keg? Weak. (Though this vid does get bonus points for a bystanders dead on explanation of what a keg stand is: “It’s called a ‘keg stand.’ It’s f***ing awesome.”)
3) The Family Tradition (aka Keg Stand with Grandma)
Father gets the dance. Best man and maid of honor get the speeches. Give grandma the keg stand.
4) The Keg Stand Bridezilla
Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you are doing a keg stand at your wedding. I think it’s time to let the perfectionist wedding planner in you take a break for 30 seconds. Shut up with all the directions and just hop up on the keg.
5) The Perfect Form
If you’re going to do a keg stand at your wedding, you might as well do it right: arms fully extended, body a straight line, legs up in the air. Take it seriously.
6) The Classy Bride
Perfect technique and not a hair out of place. Impressive.
7) The Creeper Approved
Can you blame the guy? This bride may be the hottest of the bunch.
8) The Proper Count
Maybe it’s those wedding jitters, but a lot of these people are forgetting to count their keg stands out. The keg stand count is one of the most important parts of the keg stand because it’s how we judge our keg stands against our peers. Using a properly sanctioned length of count method is recommended. Like in this video.
9) The Length Champion
So, if you are counting length (as you should be), make yourself proud. This 17 second keg stand is the best we could find from a bride on the web. Congrats! (And congrats on the marriage thing too, I guess.)
10) The Bridesmaids’ Team Effort
You have all those girls in matching dresses, you might as well have them earn their keep.
11) The Gymnast
Yes, the sound is painfully messed up, but you gotta love this bride’s running start and near perfect 10 mount — a keg stand worthy of a gold medal.
12) The Profanity-Laced Chant
Nothing says “wedding” like a bride doing a keg stand after a “drink motherf**ker, drink motherf**ker, drink motherf**ker, drink” chant. I see amazing things for this couple.
13) The Slow Jam
You wouldn’t slack when picking the music for your wedding, so why should the music be any different. Pick some music to put you in the mood.
14) The Matching of the Music to the Occasion
Does any song pair with a wedding keg stand better than “Redneck Woman”?
15) The Second-Times-A-Charm
By the looks of this bride, it’s not her first time tying the not. Maybe she realized that she took her first marriage too seriously and decided to lighten up a bit for her second (or third, or fourth) time around.
16) The Exhausted Bride
Weddings are tough work. Once things start to wind down and it’s keg stand time, sometimes it’s best to just leave your feet on the ground and relax.