Comedian Todd Glass and Stupid Questions for Funny People

Okay. Here it is: The Funniest Person to answer one (no, MORE) of my Stupid Questions!!!

A comedian and actor who’s performed on WAY too many TV shows to adequately list; Philadelphia’s own, TODD GLASS! Here’s what he has to say about making the “jerking off” hand motion for waaaay too long:


Comedian Glass was first approached with:

QUESTION: Do you think these questions are too vague to be answered intelligently?

TODD’S ANSWER: Yes, I don’t even understand these questions. Although I totally don’t mind doing them so you don’t think I’m being a jerk. And it’s not that I can’t answer intelligently, it’s just that I’ve got a headache. And every time I went to answer them I contemplated taking my own life.

Very obviously, I couldn’t leave it a that. I requested that Mr. Glass participate in a word association exercise. Here is what happened (Todd’s responses in bold):

Soup: Poop

Flummox: Coco Puffs

Halitosis: Shit

Relax-fit: Fat

Soup (but not the same kind of soup as before): Hula Hoop

Fisting: Gross

Jammies: Cranberry Sauce

Finally, I hit Mr. Glass with a riddle/logic problem:

QUESTION: If blue equals clarity, Orange equals forgetfulness And red equals undercooked rice pilaf What does orange equal, and why…?

TODD’S ANSWER: Orange equals whatever you want it to equal. You didn’t give any answers for yours so I’m not giving any for mine.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these truly Stupid Questions and that you appreciate the Funny People who temporarily lowered their standards long enough to answer them.

Steven Wright on Letterman [CLASSIC COMEDY OF THE DAY]
Steven Wright on Letterman [CLASSIC COMEDY OF THE DAY]
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