How Can I Get A Black Market Green Card?

Want to become an American? A Green Card is your ticket to working the land of Tom Cruise and Coca Cola. Many have risked their lives crossing the U.S. border just to get the chance to work and make minimum wage on our shores.

The counterfeit Green Card boom kicked off in 1986 when the Federal law required all employers to verify legal status before hiring an employee. This put a crimp on the illegal work force, if immigrants couldn’t present a Green Card that equaled no job!

So why not massively speed up the process? Why not get a black market Green Card. It’s easier than you think.

Things Needed: Money, a passport photo, a new-immigrant part of town, patience.

In the End: After following the steps above, a large red pickup truck suddenly pulled into parking spot, igniting a flurry of activity; as if it were  a covert military operation. Emerging several minutes later, I’m quickly handed an envelope with my signature on it, containing two pieces of newly constructed government identification.

“Do I give you the money here?” I asked.

“Yes!” the man said with a sense of urgency.

“Can I open a bank account with this or get a drivers license?”

“No, it’s just for work!”

“How about a Blockbuster membership?”

My Green Card, which boasts on the back “Person Identified By This Card Is Entitled To Reside Permanently And Work In The U.S,” is adorned with some person’s smudged fingerprint, my forged signature, and has sort of cloudy blotches within the lamination. My Social Security card is cut at an ill regular angle. I guess it would work, if I applied for a job in a poorly lit room. Or cave.

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