Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: Scientologists, Dogs In Clothes, and Voices In My Head

Want a cavalcade of crazy? I can’t imagine anything scarier than moving in with  a new roommate found on Craigslist –  one of the riskiest maneuvers you can do. How can you predict what lies ahead after meeting someone for 20 minutes after which time you declare that you are going to be new roommates – sharing your uttermost intimate space with said person? Look for the red flags; they usually are trumpeted right in the Craigslist ads.

Once again COED brings you Craigslist ads that could spell potential roommate trouble ahead:

$1200 Dont waste money on rent pay for acting classes and live FREE! 

Ad Reads: Don’t waste money on rent, put it towards what you need most, ACTING classes! Pay for classes live FREE at Actors HOUSE LA FREE! You don’t pay utilities or rent! You Pay for Acting Classes and you live at Actors House LA FREE! We put our students in 1 short & 1 90 minute feature length movie.

My Take: Ok, this sounds very dodgy or like Scientology. You’re going to be living at an actor’s house and you wont be paying rent but, instead, for acting classes!? But the tradeoff is you are put into a short movie? Hello porn industry.

$600 Room w/full privelages

Ad Reads: Please do not respond if: You are not a chill, laid back person, do not have a job, do drugs (420 OK), cannot pay rent on time, are out of state, and are not serious about moving in.

My Take: I think I’m a chill, laid back person, but this potential roommate seems to be putting too much pressure on that fact. In fact he is being very not chill over whether I will be chill or not. This ad makes it feel like all past roommates where guys right out of prison who did heroin and skipped town once rent was due. Somehow it seems like firearms are kept in this house.

$728 great neighborhood, cozy apartment, with two roommates 

Ad Reads: If you’re interested in living with us, please send us an email with a bit of info about yourself. What’s your favorite book, food, music? What are you looking for in a place? And why should we pick you?!

My Take: My favorite book to read is either the Bible or “Mein Kampf.” The place I’m looking for is one where I can spy on my roommates when they are changing their clothes, or “pretend” to “accidently” walk in on them in the bathroom. You should pick me as your roommate because with all the voices in my head it’s almost like having several fun roommates.

$995 roommate wanted- gorgeous deco 2br 2 story apt- utilities, maid inc. (miracle mile) 

Ad Reads: I’m looking for a stable, employed, clean, and quiet, non-smoking individual- NO drugs and NO drama, please. just be nice and be cool with my pets- i’m one of those crazy people who considers my pets as my children, and like kids, they will occasionally want your attention and affection.

My Take: Huh, if this potential roommate considers his pets as his children does that mean he’ll dress them up in little sweaters and people clothes? Will you wake up in the morning to find him having full-on conversations with his children? This potential roommate also doesn’t specify what type of pets he has and will be treating like his kids. If I were moving in, I’d that his kids are a dozens chimps and one large dingo. Remember no drama.

What Her Drink Says About Her [He Said/She Said]
What Her Drink Says About Her [He Said/She Said]
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