Ron Jeremy’s Mustache Ride Gives Old Blue Some Pink Passion [DRINKS OF THE WEEK]

Today marks the 60th consecutive week that COED’s “Drinks of the Week” has been a featuring new and exciting spirits and mixed drinks for you our loyal booze hounds! To celebrate we’ll do what we do best and introduce you to three totally unique spirits including: Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum, Pisco Porton, and a White Whiskey from Few Spirits. This might be the only time you can look at Ron Jeremy and have it be SFW.

Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum

Porn and booze, admittedly two of men’s favorite things in life. So why not create a rum and have it endorsed by one of the biggest legends in the industry… foolproof, right? Well, not exactly… If you want to succeed in the rum business you’re going to need more than just a big name and a fancy bottle. That’s where we stepped in to find out the truth behind Ron’s new spiced Panamanian conCOCtion!

Proof: 94 (47% ABV)
Age: Blended
Flavors: Vanilla, caramel, and molasses
TasteB+ (Very Good)
Mix-abilityB+ (Very Good)
Buzz Factor: A (Excellent)
Price: $20.00 USD (750ml) 

Overall: We give Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum an A- (Highly Recommended). Don’t be fooled, this rum isn’t just a novelty, it’s great for mixing and has the depth and complexity that even the most seasoned rum drinker can’t deny. While it’s going to be hard to convince your snooty friends that a rum with an aging porn star’s mug gracing the bottle could be anything but nasty, you’re probably going to just have to let them try it for themselves. For the record we loved it!

Oh, and if you were expecting a ‘that’s what she said’ joke we have a special review for you, and here it is: Ron de Jeremy is quite potent, yet smooth with long and slight burning finish. And that’s what she said!!!

MIX IT UP WITH: “Mustache Ride”

Ingredients: 3/4 oz Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum, 3/4 oz light rum, 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur, 1.5 oz sweet and sour mix3 drops grenadine syrup.

Directions: Fill a shaker with ice. Add the spiced rum, light rum, sour, and blue Curacao. Shake the ingredients well. Strain into a rocks glass. Garnish with three drops of grenadine.

 Pisco Portón

Pisco Portón is handcrafted using centuries-old distilling methods in combination with new technology to create a mosto verde pisco made from a blend of grapes that is of superior quality and true to Peruvian tradition. To preserve the full character of the grapes, Pisco Portón uses the mosto verde method of distilling from a partially fermented grape juice known as must. Pisco Portón is never adulterated with water or artificial flavors. What is in the glass is pure and natural. How could we turn down an opportunity to test and review this centuries old spirit? We couldn’t!

Proof: 86 (43% ABV)
Age: 5 – 8 months (referred to as “resting”)
Flavors: grapes, and various fruits
TasteB+ (Very Good)
Buzz Factor: A- (Excellent)
Price: $35 – 40 USD (750ml)

Overall: We give Pisco Portón a B+ (Highly Recommended). Wow, this stuff is seriously flavorful, Pisco Portón is something special. It’s unlike anything else you’ve ever sipped. While we tried it every which way we could think of, in the end in our opinion this spirit is best served mixed. Though a few of our testing crew did in fact enjoy it on the rocks. If you’re feeling adventurous Pisco is a delicious alternative to the more common clear spirit available on market.

MIX IT UP WITH“Pink Passion”

Ingredients:  2 oz. Pisco Portón, 1 oz. Pomegranate juice, 1 oz. Tangerine juice,Sugar to taste, and Pomegranate as garnish.

Directions: Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with pomegranate seeds.

FEW White Whiskey

Craft distilled spirits from the home of Prohibition, Evanston, IL and bottled before it ever meets the barrel, FEW White Whiskey retains an unadulterated flavor that is said to contain a crisp, clean bite. Well, at least that’s what they tell us… But we wanted to come to our on conclusion and as usual that means tasting, testing and reviewing it on our own. So that’s just what we did! Check it…

Proof: 80 (40% ABV)
Age: Unaged
Flavors: Vanilla, dried fruits, and
TasteB (Good)
Buzz Factor: B+ (Very Good)
Price$53.95 USD (750ml) 

Overall: We give FEW White Whiskey a B (Recommended) After much debate we have unanimously decided that this white whiskey is best when served mixed. Now don’t get us wrong, it’s very clean tasting and stands on its own merits quite well, but for the average whiskey drinker it’s a bit too harsh. If you’re big into whiskeys and think you’re man enough, give FEW White Whiskey a try, we think you’ll like it!

MIX IT UP WITH: “Ole Blue”

Ingredients: 1.5 oz FEW White Whiskey, 1/2 oz blueberry syrup, 1 oz. fresh squeezed orange juice, 2 dashes Fee Brother’s peach bitters.

Directions: Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass Garnish with fresh blueberries

Next week: Crystal Skull Vodka | DonQ Anejo Rum | River Rose Gin

Josh is COED Magazine’s resident testing and review specialist, with a keen eye for all things tech, booze, and sports related. When he’s not contributing for COED his latest work can be found over at To have your products tested, reviewed, and featured on COED shoot Josh a quick Email. You can also follow Josh on Twitter – @JoshHerder

Demotivational Thursday: Monster Jammin’ Mullets Edition [33 POSTERS]
Demotivational Thursday: Monster Jammin’ Mullets Edition [33 POSTERS]
  • 10678531520930918