Oy, Get My Face off Your Cigarettes
Representatives for English soccer (nope, not football) star John Terry are looking into taking legal action after a government anti-smoking ad placed on cigarette packs in India used a picture of Terry without consent.
The picture is an obvious image of the pro athlete, slightly blurred with smoke ravaged lungs drawn on and the caption “Smoking Kills.” While one Indian official from the Directorate of Visual Publicity said that the image was mistakenly used. Another official from the same agency came out and said that the image was an “artistic rendering” and “has got nothing to do with John Terry.” Besides the fact that one look will prove that it’s obviously a picture of the dude; he may have a point. Hopefully the Indian government fights the charge with the classic “nope, that’s not a picture of you” defense.
The Indian government must just have some teenager Google pictures to use as graphics because this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. One ad featured jets leaving a vapor trail in what was supposed to be India’s national colors of orange, white, and green but instead showed Italy’s national colors of red, white, and green. Also a state-issued textbook was recently recalled after an image of Jesus smoking a cigarette and holding a beer was found.
Would You Like Fangs With That?
It seems like some criminals just don’t think things through before they commit their crime of choice. Leroy Ricks of Key West is one of those criminals.
On Tuesday evening, Ricks pulled up to a McDonald’s drive-thru window in the Conch Republic and handed the cashier a note that said “I got a gun. Give it up.” He drove away with over $1,900.
Ricks was in jail before night’s end because he made a couple of minor mistakes. He allowed workers to get a good look at him and, oh yeah, he used his own god damn car. But Ricks, wanted police to know that this was just a simple misunderstanding. He wouldn’t be that dumb.
He told police that he was forced to pull off the heist because a man with a star tattooed on his forehead and gold plated fangs made him do it. He said that the fanged man asked him for marijuana and he was going to take him to get some when he pulled a gun out and made him pull off the robbery. This brutal, fanged thug even had a picture of Ricks’ girlfriend and said that if he didn’t comply, he was going to kill her too. Then the conspicuous man ran off, never to be seen again. Ah, I’m sure that happens all the time.
Not that it needs to be said, but the police didn’t buy it and the mastermind was charged with robbery and grand theft. If you thought the part about $1900 being in a McDonald’s cash register sounded about as legit as the fanged assailant, then you were right again. The cashier was arrested on Thursday and given the same charges.
Uh, Our Bad
A 15-year-old girl from Texas was returned to the U.S. on Friday after being mistakenly deported to Colombia in May.
The girl was a runaway and eventually landed in the custody of American authorities. After giving a fake name and having no identification, the girl was mistaken for a Colombian who was due to be deported.
This small mistake came to the attention of authorities and the girl was placed in protective custody in Bogota before finally being returned to her family.
While the girl, who became pregnant, was in Colombia, she posted pictures of herself partying and smoking weed on Facebook. Her family says that this was her way of reaching out to them…yeah, sure.
This Dude Loves His Orange Jumpsuit
After Jerry Valentino Aldama was released from the West Valley Detention Center in Rancho Cucamonga, California on Friday, it wasn’t long until he returned…seriously, like probably an hour.
For some reason, Aldama snuck his prison issued orange jumpsuit out of the facility and slipped it on before boarding a bus. This understandably alarmed the driver who proceeded to call the authorities. Aldama was sent right back to where he came from for theft. Maybe he thought it was a parting gift.
Organs in Vegas Stay in Vegas
The family of a British tourist who died during a trip to Las Vegas in 2005 accepted a $350,000 settlement this past week in a lawsuit stemming from the disappearance of the man’s organs.
The Londoner died after collapsing in a Las Vegas Strip casino from cocaine and alcohol poisoning while on vacation for a bachelor party. After being pronounced dead at the hospital, the man’s body was taken to the coroner for autopsy, then to a local funeral home. When the body was shipped to relatives in London, it was eventually discovered that, instead of internal organs, there was a rolled up bed sheet in the chest cavity. The organs were supposed to be removed and dissected during autopsy then placed back inside the body before it was returned as opposed to being misplaced like a cell phone
$50,000 of the settlement will come from Clark County and the remaining $300,000 from the funeral home’s insurance company; because organ disappearance was apparently covered in their policy. It is still unknown what happened to the man’s organs. It is also unconfirmed if someone left the bag of organs on top of their car like a drink and clumsily drove off with it still there (because we’ve all done that before).
Hop Scotch Is Illegal in Orlando
The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that as of Friday, and Orlando man has been jailed since before Christmas for “writing or painting advertising matter on sidewalks.”
The “advertising material” in question included sayings like “Justice Equals Liberty.” The city has even stood behind their actions stating that chalk is clearly included in the code. Next they better stake out the playground so they can take more scum off the streets.
SUBMIT YOUR WTF NEWS ITEMS TO EDITOR@TEAMCOED.COM