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Handicap Match: Drunk Old Man vs. Two Monkeys With Sharp Teeth [VIDEO]


“In this corner, weighing 100 pounds and a fifth of liquor in his stomach, wearing no shirt and what look to be track pants, known for beating his wife for not having made dinner on time, we haaave Old Senile Alcoholic! And in this corner, with a combined weight of 80 pounds minus the feces they’ve probably already thrown, wearing nothing, we haave Two Monkeys That Seem Extremely Pissed Off and Can’t Wait to Use Their Sharp Teeth And Claws.” It looks to be a promising fight, Dave, but I think the monkeys will come out on top: their home-court advantage is probably going to come into play. Enough talking, the fight’s about to begin.

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Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.