How To Grow Your Own Ganja Garden: Germinating Seeds [Weedly Column]

From the words of Snoop Dogg, “No seeds, no stems, no sticks,” makes some of the best weed to buy. With all due respect, Mr. Big Doggy Dizzle, there is one instance where this mantra does not really apply. If you’re trying to grow your own stash, you’re going to need to get the seeds from somewhere right? Cast away your paranoia like you would a cop without a search warrant and read our guide to germinating your own little Mary Jane below.

Sometimes in your stash of dirt that you bought from the guy selling from his van, you’ll find tiny (2-3 mm in diameter) little seeds. Once you spot one of these beauties though, don’t let your excitement get the best of you! These seeds must be handled with care. And by care, I mean you have to squeeze (not hug) them. That’s right, pick up your new friend and pinch it between your thumb and forefinger. If the seed caves in, pops, or flattens from your force, the seed may not be able to grow. If it manages to keep its shape, you’ve got a potential winner. [Note: just because a seed is tough doesn’t mean that it’s invincible.]

"I didn't know you liked to get wet, Dave"

Let’s start the germination process now, shall we? The first part of this process involves a preliminary soaking of the seeds in water for 12-16 hours. In doing this you will activate the seed’s mechanisms for growth. If you can give it more help, earlier, the seed will reciprocate by giving you more and better quality buds.

After the seeds have soaked for the proper amount of time, remove them very, very gently. This part of the process is kind of like what you did in 4th grade, only this time you’re now growing drugs that are illegal on a federal scale. Place your soaked seeds between the folds of a paper towel and put that towel on a plate. Next, pour water over the paper towel making sure that the excess water drains. Keep the seed’s new home moist over the next few days, and allow your anticipation to build. Check the appearance of your seeds every so often – this is where the excitement really starts to hit.

After a couple of days, the seed will open up and a white taproot will emerge from the shell. Congratulations! This is the first physical sign of your budding green thumbery. USING TWEEZERS, pick up your seed with the visible white taproot and place it, white taproot facing down, in some dirt, or even Miracle-Gro [Note: while MG isn’t recommended, the seed will grow regardless. Use will just result in a lesser harvest]. Cover your new Baby Mary with about a centimeter of soil, give it a little water, and then wait. Patiently.

Here, the grower isn't folding the towel but he is using tweezers

After a few days, your little weed will emerge on a stalk just above the soil surface. The stalk will bring with it two little seed leaves which resemble more of a round shape than the true marijuana leaves you’re used to seeing. Take this moment to realize that you’ve just brought a new life into this world. Furthermore, realize the responsibility you must now face: your child needs more than a little more protection and care given the blind scorn and discrimination it is wont to face.

Nourish it with water and sunlight but, as always, use baby steps when administering nutrition; since you don’t want to drown it or dry it out, finding the happy medium is of utmost importance. Before too long, true weed leaves will begin to grow, and you’ll be hard pressed not to take a look at your new buddy every few minutes with the loving gaze of a new gardener.

A budding female bud

Quick and Early Tips for Growing Females

As we explained before, your real goal in growing is to get the ladies – both literally and figuratively. They’re the ones that contain all the THC you want and need. Since plants have no set gender until somewhat later in their growth, you can actually help your seed grow into Mary Jane and not Mario Jane. There are a few complicated ways of doing this, but you can achieve some success by controlling the environment they grow in:

• Higher nitrogen and lower potassium level in soil for first two weeks

• Lower temperatures

• High humidity

• Less exposure to daylight, roughly 14 hours

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