Ask A Chick: Halloween-er Costume, Eat Out For Oral, GF’s Friends Suck

How important is it for me to actually have a Halloween costume? I never have good ideas so I usually just fore-go the holiday altogether. Is the girl that I have a crush on going to think I’m lame? – Lee

Taylor Says: I know it’s harder for guys to come up with costume ideas since they can’t just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears, but come on man! It doesn’t really matter what you dress up as, it’s just important that you dress up. Think of it this way: if she sees you didn’t try at all for your costume, it’s not entirely unreasonable for her to think you won’t really try when you’re hooking up. It’s like when kids go trick or treating in regular clothes and people don’t give them candy, only this type of candy is less sweet yet equally satisfying.

If you really can’t think of anything just do the ‘d*ck in a box’ costume. Easy and straight to the point.

Is it a bad idea to go down on a girl first? I feel like if I start doing that, she won’t feel that she needs to reciprocate. She does, right? – Thad

Taylor Says: No. In fact, I don’t know if you could find a better way to get a girl to go down on you, unless you find a way to come Diet Coke. Girls are not wired the same way guys are, meaning we don’t feel the need to roll onto our stomachs and pass out once we’ve received oral. By going down on a girl she’ll most likely feel the need to reciprocate, just like how all girls inevitably have that one girl at their birthday dinner that she only invited because she was invited to theirs.

I really f*cking hate my girlfriend’s friends. How can I tell her she chooses to hang around total losers (not me, of course) without hurting her feelings? – Jeremy

Taylor Says: I hate to break it to you (actually, no I don’t), but this is a battle you will not win. If you don’t want to hang out with her friends, you don’t have to, but there’s no way you can dispose of them completely. In turn, your girlfriend probably doesn’t care for your videogames, but she’s not going to make you throw away your Gameboy (or whatever it’s called). You might as well schedule your gaming time during her girl time.

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