How To Get The Most Out Of Your Fake ID

So, you got a fake ID. You’re one of the lucky few to inherit an actual old ID from a friend or family member. But you’re 6’3″ and your ID says you’re 5’8″. You’re boned, right? Wrong. Truth is if you’re smart about where you go (the place that actually ACCEPTS fake IDs), getting in is more a matter of mind over government-issued materials. Follow these basic steps and you’ll be in the clear.

Have confidence.

Exude it. Embody your fake ID. Relinquish your real identity and go with the card. If it says you’re 5’9 and you’re really 5’3, be 5’9 in spirit. My dad always said, “if you act tall, you are tall.” Apparently that adage rings true for getting into bars, among other things.

Travel as lightly as possible.

Avoid traveling in a large group. Alone or with one or two friends, you’re much less offensive to a bouncer.

Be cognizant and courteous.

Don’t be afraid to look the bouncer in the eye. Be sincere with your false identity. Smile, nod, say thank you, step aside. And what to do if they take your ID? First of all, if you worry about them taking it, they probably will. So don’t even think about it. But if they do, let it go. It wasn’t meant to be.

Share the wealth.

Once you cross the threshold into legality, pass your ID down to someone less fortunate, along with these guidelines to proliferate good times for all.

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