He Said / She Said: Sex Positions That Suck (In A Bad Way)


Conventional wisdom suggests there are two things in the world that are still good, no matter how bad they might be: Pizza and sex. But I’ve had plenty of bad pizza, and have to begrudgingly admit that I’ve had plenty of bad sex as well. Time spent in Eastern Europe certainly accounted for much of both.

As in poker or Twister or planned seating arrangements or medieval warfare, how you position yourself can make or break (occasionally in a painfully literal sense) your sexual experience. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to try something too complicated.

Let’s face it, you’re probably way too drunk to contemplate doing gymnastics, so why would you attempt it in the bedroom? Keep it simple, stupid, you’re in your god awful studio apartment not aboard Bang Bus.

Equally treacherous is playing it too safe, because nobody wants to be known as a boring lay. So use your best judgement. Actually, scratch that. Here are six positions to avoid.

Check out what SHE SAID at CollegeCandy.com.

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