Guys, the worst text that you can send a girl is one that you probably send all the time without even thinking about it. It’s the old, “Hey babe, what are you up to Saturday night?” To the untrained eye this probably seems ok: but there is one crucial error here.
Firstly let’s think about what the message implies. It implies that you want to ask her out on a date, but are ‘feeling her out’ (as opposed to ‘up’) about whether she’ll be free or not.These don’t seem like the actions of a super confident man. If you want to ask her for a date be direct about it. Saying:
“Hey, I’m heading to an awesome house party on Friday, you should come along.”
Or, “Hey, I’ll be passing through your neighbourhood this weekend so let’s grab a coffee on Saturday morning.”
All sound so much stronger, somehow. There’s something super attractive about a man with a plan. And you know what? The devil is in the detail. Since you’ve been specific about what you’re going to be doing, she knows what she’s signing up for if you guys hang out.
If you leave it vague by asking her what her Saturday night plans are, she’ll worry that if she says she’s free, the girl (sort of) commits herself to agreeing to whatever plan you’re about to suggest. That could be anything from an awkward dinner date, to meeting your folks, to coming round to your house to watch ‘DVDs’.
Obviously you may actually have something super cool planned; and she may want to meet up, but she’ll hedge her bets until your plans are clear. Hot girls have a lot of weekend night options; this is prime social time. So they won’t give it up to you unless you’re clear about what’s on offer (even if it’s just chilling with you and watching Madmen).
Instead they’ll probably make out that they have vague plans, then pick whichever event they feel like attending on Saturday. This doesn’t help you to plan your weekend. This also means that you can’t really ask another chick (unless you’re really that much of a pimp), because you could possibly double-book.
So next time, be specific about what your plans are. If she agrees to them, great. If not, you’ll know the score so that you can set up a date with your back up plan.