Hard Ticket To Hawaii is a 1987 action adventure film directed by Andy Sidaris, helmer of such gems as Savage Beach, Guns, and L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach. Hard Ticket has everything you need to become a classic: ridiculous quotes, guns, girls, and ridiculous action sequences. Barstool Sports said it had the best frisbee scene in movie history. Now, we draw your attention to this death scene and ask: is it the greatest ever? Check it out after you read through the dynamite dialogue below.
Seth Romero: If brains were birdsh*t you’d have a clean cage.
Jade: [referring to man doing handstand on skateboard] Hang on, Rowdy. We got some nutcase in front of us.
Rowdy Abilene: Man…he must be smoking some heavy doobies.
Rowdy Abilene: Jade, how bad you hit?
Jade: [with bullet hole in chest] I’ve been better.
Rowdy Abilene: [as Colleen jogs away] Hey Colleen! You’ve got a great ass.
Colleen: [stops and looks back] So do you, pilgrim.
Rowdy Abilene: This is for the Molokai cops. [throws flying disc laced with razorblades]
Jade: [looking at exploded sex doll] A bazooka, Rowdy?
Rowdy Abilene: It’s the only gun I can hit a moving target with.
Jade: My first wife used to mow the lawn stark naked.
Rowdy Abilene: What’d your neighbors say?
Jade: They said I married her for her money.
Rowdy Abilene: [laughs, pause] Did you? [laughs]