He Said/She Said is a new dating, sex, and relationship advice series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: meeting the parents.
Perhaps the most terrifying point in a relationship is the day when you are obligated to meet your girlfriend’s parents. Sure, engagements, weddings and child-birth are all probably rough, too, but that first step into seriousness is always the most nerve-racking; standing toe-to-toe with her Dad, him knowing full well that you’re humping his daughter, is enough to make any man just want to retire into the mountains and lead a life of celibacy.
Sitting around the dinner table surrounded by her family, keeping your guard up as you try to quietly make your way through the Sunday roast without humiliating yourself is a challenge in and of itself, without the added pressure of the small talk you’ll be forced to engage in if you want to, y’know, actually impress them. So what do you say?
Make eye contact
Give a non-jackassy smile – natural, confident and a nod. Not a sh*t-eating grin that says, Hey, I’ve been inside your daughter!
Give a firm handshake.
Don’t act like a p*ssy. Have a backbone – if you disagree with something, speak up, but do so in a respectful tone. He’ll respect you more for it.
Don’t be afraid to state what you like and what you know (making sure it’s within reason – “porn” and “how to execute ‘The Stranger'” should be off limits). Try to find common ground.
Admit when you’re wrong or when you don’t know anything about the topic at hand. But inquire about the things he knows & loves. Let him teach you.
Keep the conversation going.
Keep the convo on guy-centric sh*t and focused on him. Lead him to story time, direct him to a place where he can brag about his accomplishments or his family.
Avoid detailed discussion about your gf / his daughter, but don’t be awkward about it. Filter it back to him and his family – “She mentioned you collect ____, what made you get into that?”
Show interest. Don’t yawn. Don’t play with your phone.
Don’t lie; instead move towards an acceptable, harmless truth.
Bring her a gift. Dads could probably care less and you’re more likely to piss him off for being pretentious. A gift for mom, on the other hand, is clutch. Definitely consult with your chick first.
While you treat the Dad encounter more like a job interview, the mom portion should be like a first date. You’re dressed appropriately, nails clipped, hair trimmed, doling out ‘please’ and ‘thank yous ‘, and offering to help.
Compliment her house, compliment her food, compliment, compliment, compliment. Don’t overdo it or you’ll come off like a brown-noser, but correctly placed and timed compliments will make her knees buckle.
Charm her. Make her see why her daughter is attracted to you.
In closing, remind yourself that her mom and dad were in the same position you’re in now. They just want to make sure you’re not a complete douchebag @sshole.
Check out what SHE SAID at CollegeCandy.com.
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