We’ve all been there: things seem to be going well with your new squeeze and then she says something that makes your alarm bells go off. You disregard it as a one-time incident and it is. Weeks go by and then she says something else that makes you shudder. Rationalizing her comments, you keep on seeing each other. As time starts passing, though, the craziness starts happening more frequently until you realize you’re dealing with a stage-5 clinger. If you had only listened to your Spidey senses in the first place… Here’s a list of things that should warn you to run as soon as possible.
1. “Is it in?”
You do not want to hear this. Especially if it’s in.
2. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Hearing this after your second date is just not going to fly. Not even two months into your relationship, right? If she’s dropping the L-word left and right, she’s probably planning your wedding already.
3. “So, I talked to your mom today.”
Is there anything scarier than a girl who starts working her way into the family before you two have DTL (determined the relationship)?
4. “Your ex-girlfriend called me. We’re going out for a girl’s night.”
When girls get together like this, no good comes out of it — ever. Prepare yourself.
5. “I want to have a threesome. With you and your best friend.”
You’ve dreamed of the words “I want to have a threesome” coming out of her mouth for months now, but this best friend’s scenario is probably not what you had planned.
This means she hates you and of course, it’s not fine. Nothing is ever fine when a woman says the curt, cold “fine.” Be afraid.
7. “I made us a blog — so we can write about our relationship…together!”
Nothing says crazy like taking to the internet with a blog all about your relationship … which will probably only last 2 more seconds after she says this to you.
8. “This is our song! Taylor just gets us.”
If she references Taylor Swift in relation to your relationship (whether you’re just friends or exes), run for the hills. The girl is definitely craycray, especially if she’s telling you this.
9. “You need to go on a diet, Tubbawubba.”
If your girlfriend tells you to go on a diet and then references your weight with some awful pet name such as Tubbawubba or Belly Boy, just … no. No. Run away. Go on a diet — from her!
10. “Should we serve chicken or fish at the reception?”
Any wedding plans before you pop the question are pretty high up there on the scary-girl Richter scale.
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