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5 Types of People You Should Never Get High With


Smoking weed and chilling with your buddies is an all-American pastime. And it’s also a nice ice-breaker when hanging out with new people. But be careful – nothing can snuff your buzz quicker than a smoking session with a bunch of losers. Check out the 5 people you should never get high with below.

5. The Never-Shuts-Up Guy

Weed is relaxing. And while it’s great to let your guard down and just sort of babble with your buddies, some people get a little too relaxed and simply won’t shut up. We’ve all met a guy like this. A few hits, and suddenly he won’t stop talking – going on and on like Dave Chappelle’s Sir Smoke-a-Lot character in Half-Baked. Hey, guy, we’re all glad you’re so open with your life, but, really, I’m just trying to get my smoke on.

4. The Wet Mouth Guy

This guy is either completely careless or just way too used to smoking alone. Either way, be it pipe, blunt or joint, when this guy hands it to you, it’s gonna be covered in spit. Look, guy, just because I’m smoking weed with you doesn’t mean I want to de facto make-out. It’s bad enough watching someone dip an entire joint in their mouth after they’ve finished rolling it, but at least there’s a reason people do that. The guy who can’t control his saliva when he’s simply smoking, on the other hand, defies all logical explanation.

3. The 4/20 24/7 Guy

It’s kind of assumed that people who smoke weed are, y’know, into smoking weed. And while weed is great and all, people who turn it into a lifestyle are really annoying. We all know the guy – he smokes right at 4:20 in the afternoon, his wardrobe consists solely of t-shirts with pot leaves, the only movies he likes are stoner comedies, and basically every aspect of his life revolves around weed. And while weed itself is great, having it as your only personal identifier is just lame.

2. The Lighter Thief Guy

It’s understandable, at first. People get high, they tend to forget the minor details, and suddenly your lighter is in someone else’s pocket. The problem is, this guy does it every time. Lighters are like a buck at the store – if you need one so bad, go buy your own. Also, it’s pretty weird that someone who seems to smoke so much never has a lighter of his own.

1. The ‘Can I Meet Your Guy?’ Guy

A smoker’s relationship with his dealer is a highly private one. And while there are many different types of dealers out there, it’s usually nobody’s business how you get your pot. Yet, there’s also some dude – a casual acquaintance, never a close friend – who constantly badgers you for a dealer introduction every time a smoking circle breaks out. Either he’s so socially inept that he can’t find a dealer of his own, or he’s an undercover cop – but either way, he’s the first guy to ask you about your dealer and the last guy you’d actually make an introduction for.

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  • COED Writer
    Professional writer despite being unable to understand a lick of English.