Twitter’s a mixed bag; there’s a lot of superfluous garbage. Many consider it to be a steady stream of textual diarrhea, it’s enough to make a person give up. But, there are a few people worth following for their consistently charming and intriguing tweets. Whether it’s their observational humor, unfiltered dialogue, refreshing nature, nonsensical babble, or flat-out ability to engage with his or her fans, the following 10 tweeters never disappoint. Check ’em out below and let us know if we missed any in the comments section.
FILTHIEST TWEETER: BIBI JONES
The filthiest person to follow on Twitter is BiBi Jones @xxxBiBiJones – if there’s only one reason you have a twitter, she is IT. Recently appearing on the Howard Stern show, Bibi has sex with anyone. ANYONE. In fact, before she appeared on the show she had sex with a janitor and random pedestrian in her hotel lobby. She posts completely naked and filthy shots of sexy body all day long – for free. Follow her closely, and you too, will be laid upon entry.
CRAZIEST TWEETER: COURTNEY LOVE
The craziest person you should follow on Twitter is, no other, than Courtney Love @CourtneyLoveUK herself. Trying to decode Love’s tweets might be more difficult than cracking the Da Vinci Code. Love may have left Twitter and been replaced by a fake because of a twitter lawsuit, but there’s no knowing when the drugs and alcohol will kick back in and give us back our beloved, slurring, and incoherent Courtney Love. Come back to us!
SEXIEST TWEETER: ADRIANNE CURRY
@AdrianneCurry is the sexiest person on Twitter by far. Tweeting sexy pictures of herself and being a loud mouthed sailor on Twitter is my kind of girl. She is a nerds’ wet dream as she is a regular gamer on World of Warcraft, loves her Star Wars belt, and is the first America’s Next Top Model winner.
FUNNIEST TWEETER: DANIEL TOSH
If you’ve seen Tosh.0 @danieltosh on Comedy Central doing his web redemptions, you’ve undoubtedly pissed yourself. Or, defecated, depending on your condition. He is one of the funniest people to follow on your twitter feed and will surely put a smile on your face. His wit and sarcasm has pulled him to the top of his ranks, and if you don’t remember who he is, you might remember him from this Taco Bell commercial!
RUNNER-UP: ROB HUEBEL
COOLEST TWEETER: SNOOP DOGG
Following Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg will give you two advantages in life: you will get an automatic high from just adding him, AND, you will learn to properly spell in ebonics. I find it impressive that Snoop can tweet while holding his 8 foot blunt, making him the coolest person to follow on twitter. Follow him for some fun tweets and you might even be able to snag his dealer for a sweet stash. Of brownies, that is.
BEST FAKE POLITICAL TWEETER: FAKE SARAH PALIN
Nobody cares about politics. Well, except for those in politics and those who vote (ok, so maybe that’s a good amount of people.) But the Fake Sarah Palin @FakeSarahPalin is the best fake political tweeter to follow. I was recently reading her tweets and stumbled upon her blurting out things like “cannot wait for RAPTURE!! I’m totally checking in to heaven first so I can be mayor” and “so does ‘middle class’ mean like Junior High?” put her to the top of my Twitter following list. Follow her for some political inspiration!
RUNNER-UP: FAKE RAHM EMANUEL
WITTIEST TWEETER: CONAN O’BRIEN
There is only one person who has been passed around more than a joint at a Snoop Dogg party, and that person would be Conan O’ Brien. My poor Conan @ConanOBrien has gone from NBC, to Los Angeles, and had a gag order put on him before being gobbled up by TBS. In the meanwhile, he opened up a Twitter account and started posting very witty comments about his life and loss of his show(s). He is probably one of the smartest and wittiest people to follow on twitter, and if you don’t, you’re doing yourself a great disservice. Now, follow him, or I’ll make sure Jay Leno comes after you.
BEST VISIONARY TWEETER: CHRIS ANDERSON
@TEDchris Chris Anderson is one of the top visionaries on Twitter. Chris is the curator for the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conferences held in the United States and all over the world. The TED website alone is a brilliant piece of work that encompasses topics ranging from technology to global issues all led by equally, if not, smarter people. TED conferences can be watched free and from the comfort of your home. I have been dying to get into one of these conferences (for free), whaddya say Chris?
LUCKIEST TWEETER: JUSTIN HALPERN
If you’re lucky enough, your tweets can be turned into a CBS sitcom, too. Justin Halpern @shitmydadsays, who tweets under the name “Sh*t My Dad Says” was a regular Joe who was working part-time as a comedy writer. Within a few weeks of starting his twitter account for the sole purpose of broadcasting his dad’s daily comments, Justin’ twitter feed was mentioned by The Daily Show and has accumulated over 2.3 million Twitter followers. Now, this lucky bastard is getting a CBS sitcom, just based off of his daily tweets. Justin, if you’re not the luckiest person on Twitter, no one is. Follow Justin for his dad’s vulgar, yet, entertaining and random comments.
BEST FILMMAKER TWEETER: KEVIN SMITH
Kevin Smith @ThatKevinSmith dishes about his life with fellow cast mate and long time friend, Jason Mewes, and his wife, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith, on his smodcast. Follow him, as he is one of the best filmmakers to follow because he not only has a sense of humor, but can laugh back at his first sexual encounter with his now, wife. Open sores and all.
RUNNER-UP: JON FAVREAU
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