As another academic calendar year comes to an end, many graduates and underclassmen feel like they have tons of sage advice for incoming freshmen. Most of these people are wrong, but they put their experiences on Twitter anyway. Why else would they have accounts? We tried to pull a few we felt were actually applicable and might help the new batch of America’s party animals live up to their purpose. There are more out there, you’ve just gotta search for them. Check out the 25 “golden” rules of college according to Twitter below.
@maddynelson: food supplies consist of: instant noodles, marshmallow fluff, mug cake supplies, toast, desserts.
@addbitchandstir: No matter what, OWN THAT WALK OF SHAME. OWN IT.
@TruthHurtsz: Cheap vodka makes life hurt the next day
@D_ROSAY: Parents have to treat you to some type of meal when they visit…
@daysofchris: There’s only one re-rack, and only girls can blow
@LandoCalrisian3: wake n bakes are a must
@jbebeblu11: binge drinking on any day of the week is acceptable, even encouraged.
@John_murumba: Drink until she’s beautiful, if that doesn’t work put a flag over her head and do it for ur country
@TWlTTERWHALE In college you can get a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get a J.O.B.
@RGriesinger: Here’s mine: NEVER turn down a road trip
@nextbesstthing: 8 hours of sleep is not mandatory
@TheDunAndOnly: if you don’t have a beach, make one yourself.
@erynadams: the walk of shame isn’t as bad if it’s before noon.
@UnloadedCrayon: a C is still passing
@grownNsexi1: don’t get pregnant till almost done wit senior year
@_Rowlands_: if u drink before final exams, bring some chaser.
@BigBlackTSTACK: just saw a kid walking with a spear on campus.
@losknows: Get a few drinks in that quiet, smart girl and see what she’s really about!
@gabby_carosella: don’t fall asleep with your shoes on
@Dillon_Rivera: if you don’t make a cup in [beer pong] you have to sit under the table the whole next game
@boomerfb86: woman athletes go way hard than regular chicks
@concussionsRbad: Regale broads at parties with your sophisticated sense of humor; Retain legal counsel.
@whoisjackson: If your roommate left for the weekend, ANYTHING GOES.
@chrisceciljr: smell an open water bottle before u drink it
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