The 9 Most Offensive Songs In Music History: Videos & Poll

The United States of America. Home of the free, home of the brave, and the home to the vile cesspool of filth that is the music industry! Every year or so, mankind is helpless against an onslaught of music so awful and offensive that we’re forced to buckle from the pressure and helplessly allow the blood to gush from our ears like Old Faithful! While the list of horrible music is innumerable, which ones make us want to rip our ear drums out or write to our congressman in indignation? Find out in COED’s list of 9 of the most offensive songs in music history! You’ve been warned…

1) “Smell Yo D*ck” (Riskay)

When it comes to “Smell Yo D*ck” by Riskay, there’s nothing sexier than demanding your significant other drop his trousers in order for you to crouch down, stuff your nose into his genitalia and take a big whiff of what might be the vaginal secretion of another female. Although seemingly disgusting and mildly dangerous (think crabs and other creepy crawlers), this is fairly offensive more on a personal level as I’d be wary of people asking me to drop my pants for a good sniff in the first place. This song was inspired by cheating men all over the world. Thank you, you slimy bastards.

2) “MMMBop” (Hanson)

Alright. I know what you’re thinking, how can a band that resembles a threesome of androgynous blonde pre-teens be so offensive? I’ll tell you: the sheer stupidity of only a few repetitive chorus lines and throngs of pre-pubescent, acne-ridden girls screaming and chanting the very sound of “mmmbop” is offensive to myself and the public not as human beings, but as people who appreciates music. This wasn’t music; this was a new genre of trash entitled “MMMBop.” Nonetheless, ticket sales sky rocketed and even when Hanson was on stage, you could barely hear them sing as the screams were louder than a newly masturbating teen’s moans. Where is Hanson now? Who cares? Thanks to them, I had this song forcibly embedded into my brain for most of 1997!

3) “Oochie Wally” (QB Finest Featuring Bravehearts)

Let’s take the DeLorean back to 2001 and rediscover an all-time favorite song that is not only offensive, but really fun to sing at parties: “Oochie Wally,” the single from QB Finest’s – in collaboration with Nas and the Braveheart’s – second album. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a more eager group of women willing to please rappers for the sole purpose of getting exactly five seconds of air time. With lyrics like “He really, really, really f*cked my coochie” and “You hypnotized on how my long d*ck stretch your insides,” I’m surprised the president didn’t step in on this one. I’m actually blushing watching this video.

4) “The Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever”(South Park)

Appropriately titled, “The Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever” wins a double award in both the offensive to religion and holidays category. South Park is known for not only offensive materials in their animation, but a slew of offensive listening material as well, including: “A Lonely Jew on Christmas,” “Chocolate Salty Balls,” “Blame Canada,” and a plethora of others. This is the perfect song for those that want to grind their annual family Christmas party to a screeching halt!

5) “The HIV Song” (Ween)

In case you’ve never heard of this band, Ween is an alternative (experimental) rock group that formed around ’84. The keyword here is “alternative”… very “alternative.” There happens to be quite a large underground fan base despite no one actually hearing of them. I heard their song entitled “The HIV Song” and immediately thought who is this band singing about one of the worst possible human infections in the world? I was either tripping on some leftover PCP I had or was listening to a radio station I accidentally flipped to. This song is offensive because of the open interpretation and implications. Are they shoving the fact that they don’t have HIV into people’s faces that do? There’s not much to say about this song, except, use condoms, kids. Oh, and don’t share needles!

6) “Cop Killer” (Body Count)

Ice T must have woken up in a really bad mood when he made “Cop Killer” when he was the lead vocalist of the band Body Count. This “masterpiece” was actually inspired by the song “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads. I have personally met Ice T and thought he was really nice and cool. Although after listening to this song, I’m glad I wasn’t dressed as a cop that day. Ice made a personal statement in the beginning of the song, trashing the LAPD and bringing up everyone he’s known that was either killed or mistreated by the cops. This was a song where President George H.W. and his sidekick Dan Quayle actually had to step in. They weren’t too happy about lyrics such as “f*ck the police” and the constant name calling that cops have been given over time. Ice T managed to piss off a majority of the law enforcement worldwide while running his harem successfully and stealing jewels.

7) “Smack My Bitch Up” (Prodigy)

This would not be a complete list without Prodigy. If there was a night of debauchery I’d want to be part of, it would be this video: booze, vomiting, molesting random women, fighting yuppies, breaking sh*t and shooting up in filthy club bathrooms is my idea of an amazing night. There is only one chorus in this song that repeats itself enough to try to give you the idea of what the point of the video is, “Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up.” Regardless of what the lyrics might tell you, there was – to my disappointment – no actual real smacking going down in this video. This video is the uncensored version, mind you, so watch it before YouTube and America have a sh*t fit. You’re welcome.

8) “Short People” (Randy Newman)

Who would’ve thought that the man who wrote the music for movies like Toy Story and its subsequent sequels had such malice towards those with a growth deficiency? Randy’s non-threatening demeanor and wardrobe style facetiously lends to his “whimsical” but offensive choice of musical lyrics in the song “Short People.” He gets straight to the point, doesn’t he? The song is obviously offensive to short people, but who exactly are we talking about here? There’s the random midget we see from time to time running around New York City, but for women in the United States, if you’re less than 5’4, – and if you’re a guy whose less than 5’10 – you’re kind of f*cked. Sorry to ruin your day, but it’s what I do best.

9) “She Swallowed It” (N.W.A.)

Last, but not least, let’s talk about sperm. Sperm is probably one of the foulest liquids on the planet and the fact that it squirts out of a body part that looks like a sea slug makes it lose that much more of whatever appeal it had to begin with. N.W.A. should be proud of their released song “She Swallowed It,” offending not only women everywhere who have begrudgingly swallowed the nasty gunk during a night of wild sex, but to the offense that sperm is in general. Keep it off of our backs and out of our hair, ya heard?

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