5 Video Game Characters We’d Like to Smoke Up With

Imagine a life where everyone is trying to kill you. No matter where you go, you’re often met with traps and swinging blades. Not to mention everything you do is scored, judged and graded. Well, such is life for video game characters. And with all this stress, it would come as no surprise that video game characters like to smoke a little weed in what little downtime they have. But, of all the famous video game characters over the years, which ones are the best to share a bowl with? Find out below!

1) Duke Nukem

Duke doesn’t do anything small-scale, so when he gets high, he most certainly breaks out the six-foot bong and a pound of the best weed available in the galaxy. Sure, he might get a bit obnoxious after a while – he’s a non-stop talker, that’s for sure – but at least he probably has good stories about alien invasions, intergalactic wars and tons of hot chicks. Also, only a total stoner could take so freaking long to release Duke Nukem Forever.

2) Ellis (Left 4 Dead 2)

This 23-year-old Georgia native is one of 4 heroes from Valve’s Left 4 Dead 2. And there’s no doubt he smokes a lot of pot. Despite the overwhelming horror of a total zombie apocalypse, Ellis remains constantly optimistic, easily distracted and basically treats the situation as one big thrill ride. Anyone who can turn Armageddon into a good time has got to be stoned out of his mind.

3) Alan Wake

This moody author/star of the titular Xbox 360 game has a lot of problems. His wife is missing, his friends all hate him and (depending on how you interpret the game) his imagination is constantly trying to kill him. Which wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t such a gloomy buzz-kill all the time. But we think he’d be a fun guy if he’d just loosen up. So we’d totally be down to get high with Alan. The supernatural may follow Wake around like a stalker, but the supernatural isn’t so scary when you’re stoned.

4) Master Chief (Halo)

“I need a weapon”? More like I need some weed! Look at that suit – we have no doubt that somewhere among all that shiny Spartan tech is a vaporizer with a tube going right into Master Chief’s mouth. First off, the guy’s too quiet. And he’s way too calm in the face of an alien army. And for someone who single-handedly won a war, he never seems to be in much pain. Our verdict: Master be baked!

5) Chell (Portal 2)

If there’s one character on this list that would make the greatest smoking buddy, it has to be Chell from Portal 2 – and for obvious reasons. Pipe hits, bong hits – nothing beats a portal hit! Fire one portal on a wall, stick the second portal above the bong, and let the games begin. Massive hits, powered by science! And the best part is once you’re high, you still have the portal gun to play with. Travel the world, or just always have a beverage within reach. The only limit is your weed fueled imagination!

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