He Said / She Said: Chicks Box Out More For Rebound Sex

He Said/She Said is COED’s dating, sex, and relationship debate series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – we know, an impossible feat. Every week we’ll be throwing out a different topic for debate… you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: rebound sex – which gender has it more and who’s better at it?

I’ve always found rebound sex to be one of humanity’s more peculiar habits. Think about it – you spend weeks, months, years dedicating yourself to one person, sh*t goes awry, you go your separate ways, and you immediately try to find solace in another… literally inside another human being. This playmate could be someone you know from work, an old high school classmate, or the person on the treadmill next to you at the gym. You’ve gone from never loving another person for the rest of your life, committing your heart, mind, body, and soul to your one and only to going to pound town on the last person at last call. All within the span of a day, a week, or a month. Pretty bizarre, no?

Society has imparted a litany of unwritten rules for us to follow and while most people adhere to these rules no questions asked, there’s always an exception to them. And it seems the rules were made for women. Women should cross their legs, not sleep around, make guys work for it, blah blah blah. If she has a one night stand, she’s a slut, pure and simple. Women are supposed to have serious relationships with committed boyfriends. If they’re not in a relationship there must be something wrong with them or they’re sluts. Yet, a girl goes out with a dude for a year, 2 years, 10 years, they break up, and she gets banged doggystyle by the hot guy from the gym in the bathroom at Brother Jimmy’s and everyone looks the other way. All is forgiven. Why?

The more acceptable rationale most women give is she’s suffering emotional trauma, fallout, etc. So, one day you’re in a relationship and scoffing at the thought of a one night stand, labeling others who engage in rando fornication (randornication) as immature, irresponsible, etc. then the moment you’re single some broham is knuckle deep in your cooch and it’s okay? Bullsh*t.

What’s my point? Well, women shouldn’t have to feel that they absolutely HAVE to be in a relationship to have sex. I feel that most women crave and seek out serious relationships just so they can get laid and not feel bad about it. And, for women, rebound sex can be the most cathartic yet also most miserable time of their lives. They can engage in no strings attached smooshing with a little less guilt than usual but they still feel wrong about it because A) they think their ex is doing the same and B) they realize they’re hypocrites about singles only sex.

Photo by DreamPictures, Blend Images

Most chicks believe men find it easier to jump into rebound sex. We don’t have hangups or reservations about it because we’re not chicks – we don’t have to worry about society bashing us for it. But, most of us are just like Jason Segel’s character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall – no matter how much poon we pound, you still feel empty and your mind’s still probably hung up on your ex. Just the fact that you’re out there, mixing it up with girls again is usually good enough to get over the hump – pun intended. But, for girls? Nope, they need to bone to break free of their ex’s memory.

Just look at Ronnie and Sammie from the Jersey Shore. I know, they make you want to puke, but when they “broke up” this past season, Sammie’s out and about trying to hook up while Ronnie’s head is all fouled up. Cold blooded!

Photo by Luis Alvarez, Photodisc

Personally, I think girls are better and more successful at rebound sex. I’ve been called a moron for thinking that, but hear me out. I’m not saying women have rebound sex more often than guys, I’m saying women are just better and more successful at it. It’s the power of the p*ssy: girls can get it whenever and wherever they want, however, they just choose not to because of the guilt and backlash I previously mentioned. It’s because of that power and that guilt that rebound sex is more prevalent for women than random sex because in the eyes of other women and society it’s more acceptable.

This sound familiar?

GIRL’S FRIEND #1: Oh my god, Lauren slept with that guy from the bar last night?

GIRL’S FRIEND #2: Yeah, but he’s just a rebound guy. She’s still getting over Bryant.

GIRL’S FRIEND #3: Yeah, but didn’t they break up like 2 months ago?

Like, there’s a f***ing expiration date on how long you can forgive a chick or give her a free pass for f***ing rando dudes?!?!

I’ll sign off with this – if society treated all sex like they did rebound sex, we might have less divorce. And before some f***ing Debbie Downer chimes in with “yeah, but you’ll have more STDs and unwanted pregnancy!” here’s a tip: use birth control and prophylactics.

Check out what SHE SAID at CollegeCandy.com

Liked this? Check out these:
He Said / She Said: Faking Orgasms
He Said / She Said: Who Should Control Birth Control?
He Said / She Said: Going Soft Makes Things Hard
He Said / She Said: Your Place Or Mine?
He Said / She Said: 9 Things Girls Shouldn’t Do In The Bedroom

The 5 Highest Blood Alcohol Levels Ever Recorded
The 5 Highest Blood Alcohol Levels Ever Recorded
  • 10678531520930918