8 Villains Who Probably Won’t Be In “The Dark Knight Rises” [VIDEOS]

Wonderfully crafted and lovable villains like the Joker and Two-Face make superb adversaries in Batman‘s crusade against crime, but not all The Dark Knight’s’ villains – for many reasons – can aspire to reach these same heights – especially within Christopher Nolan’s universe! There’s been rampant speculation about which evildoer will make an appearance in “The Dark Knight Rises” (Riddler’s out, Catwoman & Harley Quinn in?). Which foes fail to make the cut in Nolan’s trilogy finale? Find out below.

1) Baby Doll

Though her story is bitterly tragic, the idea of a child actor who never grows up may be a tad farfetched for Nolan’s realism. But Baby Doll is more than just a former child star who pines for the golden days of television; she never grew out of it. Literally, she stayed child-sized due to her being born with Hypoplasia. Despite her age, she still slips into that cutesy kid-talk unique to her TV personality and carries around a doll that shoots bullets out of its eye sockets. If it weren’t for the whole pint-size appearance, Baby Doll would fit perfectly into the Nolan universe, but getting rid of that element would defeat the purpose of her character and the emotional impact of her plight. Not to mention it wouldn’t be very prudent for Batman to punch a little girl – right, Kick Ass?

2) Killer Croc

A criminal trying to work his way up as a kingpin seems like it would fit perfectly in the next Batman movie. There’s only one catch: he’s a crocodile man who lives in the sewers. Over the years, Croc has devolved into a big, dumb reptilian monster. In Gotham Knight, he is portrayed as a mindless beast. In Arkham Asylum, he is portrayed as an 11-foot-tall cannibal. The only adaptation that actually treats Croc like a good old-fashioned criminal is The Animated Series, and even that wasn’t as generous. Killer Croc can only work if Nolan isn’t afraid to embrace creature costumes and effects.

3) Crazy-Quilt

When you can’t quite pay the bills as a painter (the artsy kind, not the Home Depot kind), there is always crime. At least, that is what seems to be the mantra for Paul Dekker: half painter, half criminal. His powers give him the ability to see colors more vividly than a Peter Fonda acid trip, but rather than getting high off the trippy hues, it drives him mad to the point of crime. He uses color strobe lights to hypnotize people as well as firing pretty, but deadly lasers at them. Crazy-Quilt is one of the few villains whose perennial adversary was Robin. If you get your ass handed to you by the Boy Wonder and set out to defeat JUST Robin, you’re pretty much the lamest villain ever.

4) Maxie Zeus

Forget Thor. Batman can take on the big Greek god himself, Zeus. Well, technically he is not really Zeus, Max is actually just a crazy history teacher who loses his mind and decides that he is indeed the god in question. Caught up in his delusions, he believes others around him are other Greek gods: Batman is Hades, Joker is Hermes and Arkham Asylum is Olympus. Of all the Batman villains, Maxie Zeus is the most tragic because he’s not out to directly commit crimes or kill Batman. His mental instability and delusions, mixed with a god complex, make him a dangerous person – but not a conditioned criminal. This is one villain too crazy and too sad to enter Nolan’s universe.

5) Sportsmaster

It’s every high school geek’s worst nightmare: an evil jock. Not unlike most athletes, Sportsmaster uses his incredible sports prowess to commit crimes. And, in the tradition of most Batman villains, he commits crimes with an assortment of weapons based on his theme. The Sportsmaster looks like he raided a gym’s supply closet as he wears a large assortment of sports gear and fights superheroes using weapons like exploding hockey pucks and rocket baseball bats. The only way I could buy the Sportsmaster in Nolan’s universe is if he turned him into a gym teacher who cracks under the pressure, and decides to take it out on society with a baseball bat. But if you did that, you’d pretty much have D-Fens from Falling Down. And as much as I love D-Fens, Batman could’ve ended Falling Down pretty quickly with a bat-arang to the face.

6) The Brain

While he is more of an adversary to the Teen Titans and the Doom Patrol, the Brain deserves a spot on this list regardless. The character is exactly what his name implies: a brain. Originally, he started life as a brilliant French scientist who raised the intelligence of a gorilla he named Mallah – his soon-to-be partner in crime… and lover. After having his body horribly disfigured and burnt, Mallah – following a protocol in the event of his master’s demise – transferred his brain into a computer, thus beginning the Krang-like relationship between the two. Given the fact that he spends most of his time as a brain in a robot body, he can utilize his brain to its full potential, since he isn’t bothered with the organic operations of the cardiovascular system. This allows him to conceive nearly full-proof crime schemes as well as granting him psychic abilities, including mind control. This does make him one of the most cunning villains in the DC universe, but, honestly, can you really see Nolan embracing an evil brain?

7) The Music Meister

Unless Christopher Nolan ends up getting hooked on Glee, there is no chance the Music Meister will make it into this film. Here’s a villain who manipulates people to break into song when he starts singing. Basically, he’s a walking musical. Though if Nolan ever did decide to include him in a Batman movie, I could see him being quite the foe for the Dark Knight, considering it would be hard for Christian Bale to hit those high notes. The Music Miester could destroy that man’s voice box in mere seconds.

8) Bat-Mite

In the tradition of Gazoo from The Flintstones, Bat-Mite is an annoying little imp from the fifth-dimension. Idolizing the Caped Crusader, Bat-Mite constantly gets in the way using his magic d*ckery to see Batman in action. Bat-Mite has always been the comedic relief of the Batman universe, even more than the Joker, in that he constantly breaks the fourth wall and acts like a child with superpowers. He was even used as the dopey, tag-along mascot in the 1970s Filmation Batman cartoon. This character not only doesn’t fit into the Nolan universe, but he has pretty much been phased out of the comics since 1985. The few times he has shown up have been as background cameos and drug-induced illusions. The character has found a home on the campy The Brave and the Bold cartoon, but he probably won’t go any farther than that.

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