Do you have a lot of scented candles, massage oil and rubbers in your sock drawer currently going unused and collecting dust? Tired of having deep and meaningful conversations with girls at parties, but always fail to convince them to head back to your room? Fear not, Mr. Lonelyheart, there’s a simple solution to all these problems and more: you need to start making your dorm room (yup, the one with the leaking window and poster of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) a bit more appealing. Here are three techniques you can use to ensure you never go home empty handed again.
1. Your Room Is Your Castle
Regardless of how messy your roommate is or how much you hate the way your door doesn’t shut properly, be eternally positive about your dorm room even if it is a little bijou. Emphasize how you have the most complete record collection known to man, an awesome espresso machine or the most comfortable Egyptian cotton pillowcases. If you don’t have any of these selling points, and your room is an impersonal box – change that pronto! Make a virtue of every aspect of your room; it represents who you are.
Crucially though, never get into specifics about how cool your room is; it’s too obvious and comes off as needy. Instead of telling her how much she’d love this polish vodka you’ve been meaning to open, simply tell her how much you’re looking forward to sampling your fine vodka collection when you get in that evening. You want your dorm room to be like the Ivy: she can try to get in – she might get in – but she’s got to prove that she’s cool enough to roll with you first.
2. Wherever You Are Sucks
There is an opportune time for making a “bounce back” to your room, and it’s not when the house party or night club is at its partying peak; no sane individual wants to leave at the height of the action. Wait until things start “thinning out” when the vibe in the venue has noticeably dropped, then make your case for why you are heading off soon – that’s right, just you, not her too necessarily. The key to getting her to come with you is for her to decide to do so out of her own choice. Make one option sound way better than the other, but always create the illusion of choice.
So start subtle. Be a little negative about the venue’s vibe, be nonchalant about the night and comment on how it looks like the party is moving on. You want to be the center of the party and the judge of where it’s cool to be, which happens to be your dorm room at 2am.
3. Give a Sneak Preview
She is way more likely to go back to your room if she’s already been there, it’s a fact. So do a little pre-planning here. Casually invent a reason to drop by place before you hit the party (a jacket that needs dropping off or a wallet that needs picking up usually does the trick). She’ll then know that she will be “safe” going back with you, and that you don’t live in some sadist’s lair. If you can’t work this out, then at least try to walk past your block, or window, so you can gesture towards where you live.
Also, always remember logistics. You can do points one and two perfectly, but if it takes her an hour to get back to your pad, the chances of her turning up fall by a large margin when compared to if it’s just a five minute stroll . Set dates at your local bar, head out to parties in your neighborhood and you will stand a much better chance of her ditching the party to check out your room.
Keep these three things in mind and who knows what might happen if the party dies down? Suggest heading back to your flat that’s only five minutes away and lure her into your bed…room.
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