He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking. Every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: putting a label on your relationship.
Facebook continues to break new ground in social networking. The online juggernaut is leaps and bounds ahead of any other media platform, especially after a pair of recent announcements. CNN reported the biggest community on the internet released a “break up notifier” that lets users know by e-mail when select people change their relationship status. On top of that, the San Francisco Chronicle reported Facebook added “in a civil union” and “in a domestic partnership” to the list of available status options to accommodate its gay members.
In a digital world where over-sharing is encouraged, the pressure to let everyone know when you’ve taken the next step in a relationship can be overwhelming. Even in “The Social Network”, Facebook’s “co-founder” Eduardo Saverin underwent severe backlash from his then girlfriend for not updating his relationship status to reflect his commitment to her. She ended up setting his gift to her on fire. Proof yet again that the majority of women take romance and intimacy seriously.
As much as we care about the rules of organized sports, they care about the rules of dating. Love is their sports. Need more evidence? Check out the litany of books about the rules on Amazon. Even JWoww’s coming out with one. To pull a quote from The Girl Next Door, “Is the juice worth the squeeze?”
Hell, even before the internet, classifying your chick was a dubious task. You slip up and call her your girlfriend during introductions and she gets freaked the f*** out ‘cuz she thought you were f*** buddies. Call her your friend and she registers for a 5 day cry-a-thon.
The ominous update to your relationship status on Facebook can draw the ire (and sometimes applause) of just about every friend, family member, and/or acquaintance you have. We place so much emphasis on it, it’s no wonder most relationships peter out before their prime. Why do people “rush into” relationships? Because of society’s unwarranted expectations.
How does a guy avoid this clusterf***? I’ve always been a proponent of being upfront and honest. Now, I’m not advocating having the talk as soon as the question pops into your head, but I do advise having “the talk” when it consumes your thought process. I tend to rush into relationships when I see potential. I don’t want to waste any time. I like her, she likes me, what’s the hold up? But, that will definitely scare women off.
I had a girl tell me she “really likes me” every day, a couple times a day. We had a bad night or two and she completely lost interest. Did I have any idea? Not really. I held off on the girlfriend talk figuring she needed space and she completely wrote me off. This all happened in the span of 1 month!
So, I take the other approach. After hooking up with a girl, I decided to wait it out. Let things develop. Play it cool. But, then I get branded as a “flake”, as a guy who plays games, who humps and dumps. Thanks, “rules”.
Damned if you, damned if you don’t. From what I’ve read and heard through the grapevine, women don’t want someone who over-thinks things. But, it’s hard not to when you have all these “rules” governing how you should act. Try to get a woman to tell you those rules and you better be prepared to be holed up for the next 8 hours for the explanation. Every rule has an exception – and if you’re f***ing rich and hot, well, the rules don’t apply to you.
So, where does that leave us brohams? I’m not going to pretend that I know the answer. If I did, I’d be wifed up or, at least, threatening Wilt The Stilt’s number. Instead, I’m left just as confused as the chick I just hooked up with. Ooo! Just a got a notice through my Break Up Notifier – gotta go!
Liked this? Check out these:
He Said / She Said: “Dormcest” (Hooking Up With Roommates/Neighbors)
He Said / She Said: Swiping The V-Card
He Said / She Said: Her Number Doesn’t Really Matter
He Said / She Said: Sex…During Her Period
He Said / She Said: Returning “The Favor”