Upright Gorilla Brigade, M.A. In Beatles, And Suicide By Bear

Photos by Kevin Jenner & Denise Hardy, Courtesy of AOL News

AOL News reports a silverback western lowland gorilla, known scientifically as the Gorilla gorilla gorilla (no joke), at an animal park in southeast England, walks upright like a person. The 21-year-old “bachelor” is the largest gorilla at the park weighing in at 485 pounds.

So, is this dude the next in line to take on 30 insane wedding-crazy women in the next season of The Bachelor?

I wonder if JWoww and Snooki cranked one out to the video below. They love juicehead gorillas.

Full story here: Upright Gorilla Walks Like a Man

© Reuters

Reuters reports a former Miss Canada finalist has become the first person in the world to graduate with a Masters degree in Beatles studies. She was one of the first 12 students to sign up for the Liverpool Hope University course when it began in 2009.

The course looks at the studio sound and composition of the Beatles and how Liverpool helped to shape their music. The MA examines the significance of their music and how it helped to define identities, culture and society.

God forbid you end up at a party with this woman when Strawberry Fields comes on. What a buzzkill.

Full story here: University awards first Beatles degree

The AP reports a convicted killer who escaped from an Arizona prison said after his capture that he wanted to go up on a mountain at Yellowstone National Park, shoot up a gram of heroin and “be bear food.” A voice in his head, also known as “divine intervention”, told him nix the plan and hitchhike to Indiana to see family instead.

The convict also discovered that he forgot how to drive while on the lam and was quoted as saying, “Everyone drives too fast now.”

Really, Mr. Murderer? We drive too fast for you? This dude escapes from prison after ending lives and stealing cars and he thinks WE drive too fast. F*** you, p*ssy. Although, I have to give ya props for one of the most creative, if not idiotic, ways to die. That would look pretty bad ass on a tombstone minus the whole “OD’d on heroine first” part.

Full story here: Arizona fugitive planned suicide by bear

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