Shake Weight Saves Marriages Plus BMS Has NERRRRRRRRRDS!

South Park: “Creme Fraiche”

Wednesday’s episode told a very relatable story about two people growing apart. Food Network meets the Shake Weight in “Creme Fraiche.”

The episode begins at the Marsh residence as Sharon passes along a cryptic warning to her husband: he must not watch the “no-no channel.” If Randy Marsh has been anything throughout South Park’s fourteen seasons, it is agreeable. After all, when Sharon warned him about opening his big trap at Stan’s little league games, what did he do? He punched…somebody…out. Forget that, forget that. How about the time he was told to let go of his fascination with setting the world record for biggest crap ever taken? Oh yeah, he dropped a 25-pound turd. Never mind. You know where this is going.

Randy is back on the Food Network in no time. The stuff is like porn to him, to the extent that Sharon next does the only thing she can think to do: set the parental locks to outlaw the Food Network. Distraught, Randy turns to the TV channel’s hotline, which sounds suspiciously like a 976 number from back in the day. Feeling downtrodden, Sharon seeks the love of another: the Shake Weight.

In one of the more hilarious gags the show has featured in quite some time, Sharon’s Shake Weight is special. It is voice-assisted and ejaculates double meanings all over the place in the commands that it gives its owner. Listening to this thing go is like a raunchier episode of Three’s Company. Always the gentleman, after each workout the Shake Weight shoots a “cooldown spray” and hands out cab money before drifting off into sleep mode. As Sharon becomes more obsessed with Shaky, Randy takes a job as chef at the boys’ school in an effort to get his own show. Stan, caught in the middle, enlists the aid of Cartman Ramsay (that’s Fat-Ass dressed up as Gordo).

Through twists and turns that could only happen on South Park, Randy soon finds himself in a cooking competition with Bobby Flay and Jamie Oliver. When he realizes that he is missing a key ingredient, Randy rushes back to the house to get it. At that point, Sharon returns. She has caught Shaky “working out” with a hotel maid and has decided to reconcile in light of the betrayal. Before long, she’s turning Randy into her own personal Shake Weight, and everyone lives happily ever after, except Stan who can hear them through his bedroom wall.

Tonight’s Message: You know, I learned something today. Shake weights are nightmare engines of unrestrained sexual power.

Check out the ladies of South Park workin’ the Shake Weight in the clip below:

Watch the full episode here.

Recap by Aric Mitchell


Blue Mountain State: NERDS!!!

There are some things that just are; dogs hate cats, oil and water don’t mix, and beer makes everyone look better. While there are exceptions to every rule, there is one that some believe never should be broken.

Nerds and jocks just don’t mix.

At BMS they sort of mix, but more because the nerds do the jocks schoolwork; Radon’s appreciation of that is rather nice actually. It’s a shame when his nerd almost gets killed by a jealous Sammy (who thinks he’s a jock but later realizes he is a nerd) who punches a few holes in the water bed Radon’s nerd passed out on (yes, the boy almost drowned).

The balance of life is upset when the nerds revolt, refusing to do any more schoolwork for the jocks. This screws Alex who is supposed to make a presentation about a paper his nerd wrote for him, Superman’s Brother. He goes to Mary Jo, Sammy’s hot half-sister, for help; apparently she use to be smart before going to college and doing nothing but drink, smoke, and have sex. After a pot-filled night of ‘clarity’ Alex actually gets it.

The only problem is he only gets it when he’s high. At the dinner where he is supposed to be making his presentation he prepares to throw in the towel and give credit where credit is due, but then Sammy (now accepting his nerd-status) pranks the gathering and effectively saving Alex from getting busted.

In the end, the universe was restored. The nerds got back to doing homework and the jocks still had no clue what classes they were taking. The circle was complete.

Watch last week’s episode “Pregnant” here.

Recap by Travis Pulver

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