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ALIENS: Invading Or Already Here? (Skyline vs. The Event)


In the movie Skyline, releasing in theaters tomorrow (11/12), aliens invade Earth with the intent of abducting e’erybody. On NBC’s new hit show “The Event” the aliens have lived among us for the past 60+ years. They look, talk, and act like us but they NEVER AGE. Two forms of entertainment, two opposing views of alien life. It prompted us to take a look at extraordinary, freakish, or “superhuman” “people” that could very well be something else.

Just take a look at…

EATING MACHINES like Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi who consume more food than we’ve ever thought humanly possible. Yet, neither man is overweight; in fact, quite the opposite. They’re shredded! Most of us starve ourselves and still manage to pack on the pounds.

RECORD BREAKERS like Michael Phelps, Babe Ruth, or Haile Gebrselassie?

Michael CRUSHED the opposition in swimming winning so much gold even Goldmember was like, “Whoa, chill with the gold.” Plus, have you seen him in those Subway commercials? Dude swims through fields and pavements. WTF!

Babe hit more than 700 home runs in his career and he never worked out or lifted weights. He drank 30 packs of soda and ate hot dogs all day. Suck on that Barry Bonds.

Haile ran a full marathon in a little over 2 hours. Some people can’t even walk for that long.

BRAINIACS like Stephen Hawking, Garry Kasparov, or John Sununu?

Stephen is arguably the smartest person alive.

Garry Kasparov is the greatest chess player of all-time. He beat a super computer “Deep Blue” for cripes sake.

John Sununu is a former Governor of New Hampshire, former White House Chief of Staff under President George H. W. Bush, and father of John E. Sununu, a former senator from New Hampshire, and formerly a U.S. Representative. He’s eligible for the Mega Society, the world’s most exclusive high-IQ society.

SUPER STUDS like Charlie Sheen, Gene Simmons, or Ron Jeremy?

They’ve all had sex with thousands of women. Some of us can’t even get to double digits. (*cough*)

STRONGMEN like Mark Henry, Arnold Schwarzanegger, or Magnus Ver Magnusson?

Mark is the all–time world raw (unequipped) squat world record holder (430 Kilograms). His nickname is “The World’s Strongest Man”

Arnold was awarded the title of Mr. Universe at age 20 and went on to win the Mr. Olympia contest a total of seven times.

Magnus won the title of World’s Strongest Man four times (1991, 1994, 1995, and 1996)

SPEED DEMONS like Usain Bolt, Michael Johnson, or Darrell Green?

Usain is the world record and Olympic record holder in the 100 meters, the 200 meters and (along with his teammates) the 4 x 100 meters relay. His average speed is close to 24 mph!

Michael was billed as “the World’s Fastest Man” after winning four Olympic gold medals and was crowned world champion eight times. He currently holds the world record in the 400 m and 4 x 400 m relay and formerly held the world record in the 200 m and Indoor 400 m.

Darrell is a 4 time NFL’s Fastest Man Competition winner, the only player to win multiple times and never lose. His fastest recorded 40 yard dash is 4.09. His fastest UNRECORDED is under 4. He ran a 4.43 at the age of 50. That’s faster than you in bed, one pump chump!

TALL DUDES like Sultan Kosen, Zhang Juncai, or Igor Vovkovinskiy?

Sultan currently holds the Guinness World Record for tallest living man and is one of only 12 individuals in medical history to be confirmed at a height of eight feet or more with an official height 8’1”.

Zhang is China’s tallest man, which you’d think would be like 6’1” (haha) but he’s actually 28 inches (more than 2 feet) taller than the average Chinese man.

Igor is the tallest living American at 7’8″.

FREAKS like Garry Turner, Manuel Uribe Garza or Jeanne Calment (oldest person)?

Garry has the world’s stretchiest skin.

Manuel is one of the heaviest people on Earth with an average weight of 1,320 lb.

Jeanne lived to be 122 years old, the longest confirmed human life span in history.

RICH DUDES like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or Paul Allen?

Bill has a net worth of $53 billion at the age of 54, currently the third youngest billionaire in the world.

Warren has a net worth of $47 billion at the age of 80.

Paul has a net worth of more then $12 billion at the age of 57, is chairman of Charter Communications and owns 3 sports teams – the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks, the NBA’s Portland Trail Blazers, and Seattle Sounders of the Major League of Soccer.

We’ve always explained these people as simply being elite in their respective skills.  But maybe they’re just of a different breed; dare I say it, a foreign one?

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COED Writer
Devout Sports Fan who suffers from what's often cited as "NY Sports Fan" Syndrome. Through thick and thin I stand by my Knicks, Jets, Mets, and Islanders. Become a fan of "Primetime Thoughts" on facebook and be the first to know when new columns are posted. Also follow "Primetime Thoughts" on my Twitter page davidslondon.