What Her Shot Says About Her

So you think you know this girl? You’ve met her friends, watched movies together, hung out and talked for hours. You’ve shown your sensitive side. Forget Facebook, her tweets, her diary, all her IMs. Forget music, her favorite movie, the books she’s read. They don’t mean dawk. The only truth is the almighty shot. Seek and you shall shoot.

Here’s what you’ll learn from her choice of shot:

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Jager Bomb

On the surface she’s milky innocence, but something much more explosive lies just beneath. She has a bazooka strapped to her thigh, a Glock between her legs, a stiletto holstered at her waist. She’s a dangerous mountain road, slippery when wet.

Lemon Drop

She’s got a taste for adventure and is always willing to please. Sometimes she’s confused. “No need to bend over, baby, I said would you like me to moisten your glass.”

girls doing slippery nipple shots
Slippery Nipple

If she orders this one, what she’s really saying is, “Any of you boys wanna stuff your head up my shirt and suck on my tater tots all night long, you just go right on ahead.” At least, I’m pretty sure this is what it means.

Hillary Clinton doing a shot of whiskey

AP Photo / Carolyn Kaster


The whiskey drinker is all action. She’ll act first, ask questions later.  If someone is drowning, she goes right in after them. If a building is collapsing, she gets everyone out. If her dress is on fire, she slips right out of it. Then, just to be sure, takes everything else off and runs around naked.

Wet Willy

She tends to speak without thinking. Just opens her mouth and it slips out.


She trades shots with the best. She’s in for the long haul, prepared to stay all night, and won’t stop till everyone else is dead. She never goes home.

Red Headed Slut

She believes in Santa Claus. They have a lot in common. She doesn’t like to use the front entrance either.

Gin Straight

Used to run a modeling agency.  Is now homeless in a London soup kitchen.


This woman’s got more thrill than a day at Six Flags, a ton of experience, and a sexy school teacher look. You figure you’ll hit the bars, head back to her place. She has one drink and crashes. Never comes back.

Buttery Nipple

She’s got a food fetish. You stock up on whipped cream, honey, treacle, shrimp, strawberries, lots of dip. You don’t eat all day.

jesse james mistress michelle bombshell mcgee
3 Dollar Hooker

She wears a skirt the width of your wristband, is a bit slapdash. Applies makeup like Johnny Depp, wields a sword.


She’s an extrovert, has no inhibitions, likes to be watched. She’s always wears a smile. In fact, it’s the only thing she wears.


If this is her poison, beware. She likes her space so don’t get too close. Step past her limits and she’s liable to snap, and you won’t know what’s hit you.

Leg Spreader

See Orgasm.

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