A Freshman Newb’s Guide To Smoking Weed

Relatively cheap, easily accessible and arguably the ‘mildest’ form of extracurricular (and illicit) activities, weed will most likely be at the party you’re attending. So, what now, Fresh Meat?  You didn’t live in a box or a bubble prior to college, but your experience with the herb is little to none.   Let COED be your pusher man – er, I mean – “guide” for a Freshman’s first time toking!

Items you may see

You’re gonna see some shit you wouldn’t ordinarily associate with partying or with weed (due to your lack of experience). If it’s about to go down in a dorm room,  experienced smokers will have duct tape, damp towels, strange glass and/or plastic devices, small fans and exotic oils or incense sticks.  Fear not. Those are all part of the plan. That bedazzled double dildo? Yeah, that has NOTHING to do with weed. In that case, BAIL.

Partaking in the Action

Try to avoid being first up to bat. Observe carefully and go easy with the first hit or toke. Inhale slowly, smoothly and lightly.  If called out by the others, use one of these gems, “Baby steps, my man” “Slow and steady wins the race” or “I wanna be able to hook up at the end of the night, can’t get too blazed.”

Reactions and feelings

Everyone reacts differently.  Don’t be worried if you don’t feel what the person next to you does. In some cases, your chest feels like it’s on fire, and you’ll cough (NOTE: if you’re REALLY on fire, stop, drop, and roll). Even hardcore stoners cough once in a while.  You may lose some feeling in your legs.  Best to have a seat nearby for quick access.  Once the THC takes hold of your brain circuitry… expect a rapid heartbeat, tingling and possibly hazy vision.  If your heart really starts moving– you hit too hard and way too fast – that’s your sign to stop.  Go into the experience with an open mind and enjoy the side effects potentially leading to hunger (burgers!), dry-mouth (Slushees!) and of course – Euphoria (blow-jay?).

Option to decline

You have the right to take a rain check and you can do so without looking like a nerd.  Simply wave your hand ‘no thanks’ and smile slyly as if you’ve done it before but not in the mood for it right now.  If you have to reply, go straight to the “Taking it easy tonight.”  Even hardcore smokers and marijuana activists acknowledge that weed isn’t for everyone and should be a personal choice!

Other tips

• Avoid the very strong stuff your first time around.

• Avoid the energy drinks and coffee; these are stimulants and marijuana is a depressant.  Not a good mix. Same goes for mixing weed with another depressant like alcohol. If you must drink, stick to beer.

• Have snacks close by.  It’s no myth – weed brings on the munchies.

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