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10 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Guy in Hollywood

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While actresses and female pop stars are spending all their time and money doing all that they can to get noticed (Lindsay Lohan — I’m talking to you), it seems like the men are sitting back enjoying the ride, proving that it’s great to be a guy in Hollywood!


1. It’s Laundry Day 24-7: Haven’t shaved in a few weeks? No big deal. Sweaty and stinking from your latest gym workout? That’s hot. Once your a celeb, you can be as casual as you want — especially while your high maintenance Hollywood girlfriend decks herself to the nines before stepping outside to walk the dog.


2. You Never Have To Wear Heels: While your movie co-star is walking down the red carpet in her six inch heels, you are rocking a pair of classic dress shoes or, better yet, sneakers. As Mars Blackmon would say, “It’s gotta be the shoes!”


3. You Usually Date A Model or Someone As Equally Famous: Two words: John Mayer. He has called Jessica Simpson “sexual napalm,” talked openly about masturbating, and has consistently nailed Tinsel Town’s hottest from Cameron Diaz to Minka Kelly to Jennifer Aniston despite having chronic foot in mouth disease.


4. Your Body Size Doesn’t Matter: If you’re a woman in Hollywood, everyone wants to talk about your weight. Take funnyman Jonah Hill. Although he’s larger than a lot of Hollywood’s leading men, it hasn’t kept him from getting roles, like it would for an actress. How lucky to be an actor! Eat all you want cause you can still make bank!


5. You Won’t Be Considered A Man-Whore: Take everyone’s favorite couple from England: Jude Law & Sienna Miller. These two have been all over the news with their hook-ups, break-ups, and major screw-ups. No one calls Jude Law a man slut, but Sienna’s name is usually “Slutienna Miller” on popular blogs like Perez Hilton. Even the worst behavior seem totally acceptable.


6. Being Single Makes You A Total Stud: While women in Hollywood are often chastised if they don’t have a significant other or a rock on their finger, men get off scotch free and bask in the spotlight of being single. Just take a look at George Clooney, the most notorious bachelor in Hollywood — this has worked to his advantage for years now!


7. Plastic Surgery Is Not A Part of Your Vocabulary: How many men have plastic surgery in Hollywood? Very few. How many women in Hollywood have gone under the knife? Nearly all of them — whether they admit it or not. Guys rocking out on stage and grossing millions at the box office never have to worry about Botoxing their lines and wrinkles — hell yeah, this leaves more time to work on being a casually dressed bachelor that does what he wants instead of hanging out under the knife and anesthesia!


8. Walking the Red Carpet Is A Piece of Cake: While female celebrities have to worry about tripping over their heels, remembering the name of the designer their wearing, touching up their make-up, and sucking in their stomachs as much as possible while doing their signature pose for the cameras, guys get to wear your super casual attire, do a few soft interviews then hit up the open bar and walk away with tons of free swag!


9. You Can Cheat And Get Away With It: Take Jon Gosselin — father of 8 and husband to Kate Gosselin. He got cheating then weeks later was mixed up in relationships with multiple women. Same thing with Tiger Woods – he’s still playing the sport he loves and women will still throw themselves at him. Hollywood forgives the men that cheat! Hooray for cheaters!


10.  Women Throw Themselves At You: Women have been throwing themselves at men in the industry for decades. Elvis. The Beatles. Frank Sinatra. The hair bands of the ’80s. The men on 90210. The pop groups of the late ’90s. Now, women will drop their panties for the purity band of brothers — the Jonas Brothers, Disney star Zac Efron, and of course, everyone’s favorite vampire, Robert Pattinson. If any of those dudes weren’t famous, they’d be sporting wedgies.

COED Writer
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