The Football Fan Bucket List

Being a native of the great state of Texas, football is life (and to quote the cheesy t-shirt) and the rest is just details. As a true football fanatic I have lived for the great, glorious days of fall so that I may relive my own time in the limelight while watching another enjoy his. However, as a fanatic, there are things that I feel I must do before the time runs out in the fourth quarter that is my life and my game ends (besides pray for extended overtime); none of them are necessarily easy, and may not be possible. That’s why they are special; call it my Football Fan’s Bucket List.

1. Complete The Ultimate Trifecta

Every fan wants to go to the Super Bowl; as wonderful as that would be, I have set my standard a little higher–I’ve got three must see games. First, would be the Hall of Fame game; the football sucks, but the chance to rub elbows with some of the greatest to ever play the game—I get giddy at the notion. Second, would be the Super Bowl; the game itself is not always the best, but there is no mistaking the pageantry and electricity in the atmosphere surrounding that game. The Pro Bowl would be next; this is a chance to rub elbows with the current greats of the day and the fact that it is always held in a vacation paradise does not hurt either!

2. The Lambeau Experience

Lambeau Field will always be a place of legend; ask anyone to describe the ideal prototypical environment and it will look a lot like the home of the Green Bay Packers. However, just visiting this hallowed ground is not enough. The visit must be when the Gods of the Gridiron are smiling and football is being played the way it was intended; I’m talking about the coldest day in December with snow on the ground and Santa in the stands. I would not be Santa though, no. I would be the shirtless fat guy in the end zone going nuts and keeping warm through sheer will alone.

3. Join The “Raider Nation”

When you watch the games on television, the members of the Raider Nation look absolutely insane in the Road Warrior-like garb they attend games in. Then again, no one is more recognizable nor probably given a wider berth when getting passed on the sidewalk then one of those metal-studded, faced painted, Mad Max beyond Thunder Dome looking nut jobs. To not walk a mile in their shoes at least once would be a crime.

4. Shoot The Cannon at Raymond James Stadium

Who among us has not wanted to be a pirate at some time? The devil may care attitude, the cool sword, the care-free life—it’s a dream for those of us that feel stuck in the hum drum existence of the modern world as it now stands. However, there is still a place where one can live the swashbuckling life all be it just for three hours, Raymond James Stadium, home of the Tampa bay Buccaneers. What better way to scream, “Look at me! I am Man!” then to shoot of the cannon on that ship? Insert your own phallic joke here (too many for me to choose one).

5. Show Madden How It’s Done

I have never heard of this being possible, but how great would it be if some team were smart enough to use this as a pre-season promotion? Every football fan thinks they know it all and ever since Dennis Miller was allowed to commentate on Monday Night Football (and Rush Limbaugh was actually considered; perish the thought) I dare anyone to say they have not wished they could give it a try at least once. It would be crazy for the networks to allow it to happen during the season, but why not the preseason? No one cares about those games anyway; since the NFL typically signs a local to play when they have preseason games in Mexico, why not give the average Joe a chance to wax poetic over a football game?

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