36 TV Characters You Wanted To Hook Up With

The TV is many things to many people, but for most dudes, it’s a way to stare at hot chicks without dealing with restraining orders. Now we’re not saying that all TV shows have hot ladies, but we saying you can stare at a lot of hot ladies from the comfort of your living room. Right off the bat, I’ll tell ya we probably missed a bunch of sirens and traffic stoppers, but this list should serve as a phenomenal jumping off point for shows you’re going to want to DVR. So clear your schedule and get ready to do some hardcore fantasizing.

Would you date a porn star?

Kimber Henry from Nip/Tuck
played by Kelly Carlson

Yes, she dabbled in porn, but who hasn’t? Maybe you could use a little experience, could use a few pointers, a few lessons? She can be kinky or comforting. She has issues, but you take a couple swings at her self esteem and she’ll starve herself or pull the trigger, do a line then offer her behind.

so glad she's not my cousin

“Daisy Duke” from The Dukes of Hazzard
played by Catherine Bach

I don’t care how old you are or were or will be when you watch The Dukes of Hazzard, you can’t help succumbing to her southern hospitality and charm. She’s feisty and she doesn’t take kindly to rude boys, but you can’t rock those jean shorts and be a prude. Approach with sweet rather than sour, and be prepared to score some honey. Hot sticky honey in all kinds of positions on a secluded farm.

Parkyer ass right h'yah!

CJ Parker on Baywatch
played by Pamela Anderson

If you think Baywatch stayed on the air because of its superior writing and groundbreaking acting, you might have a lobe missing. There were a slew of slippery sexified lifeguards that came after CJ Parker, but there’s no questioning she would absolutely crush you in pudding pounding. The others couldn’t come close to the rock hardness you have when she runs in super slow mo.

is that a gun digging into my hip?

Sarah Walker from Chuck
played by Yvonne Strahovski

I’ll be completely honest. Never seen the show. And I have no intention of watching it. So, what’s she doing on this list? Many a man have sacrificed their masculinity and pride to leer at a smokeshow character on a subpar show (see Baywatch example above). Hard to get into a show called, “Chuck.” Change that ‘ish to “Sarah Walker Tightass Rump Ranger” and we’re talking. I love the promos, does that count? Plus, chicks who can handle a gun can handle your gun. Even if it’s a Derringer, you failure.

let's be friends

Xena from Xena Warrior Princess
played by Lucy Lawless

Every guy at least once in his life wants to be dominated. If not dominated, you’re at least curious. Xena’s a big, strong chick. She most likely only dicks around with chicks and hates dudes, but doesn’t that make you want her exponentially more? We want what we can’t have. I’d don a wig and tuck my Florida for her.

Sent from the future to change the future of one lucky dude

Cameron Phillips in Terminator Chronicles
played by Summer Glau

Short lived show but a beloved franchise. T3 was the worst of the Terminator movies, but it gave us Kristanna Loken. The first chick Terminator. But she was sent to kill, not obey. Fox got wise and ordered up a show in which the resistance sent back a chick Terminator who obeys and presto every single act in the book of love is accessible. Sex robots, people. It’s happening and I already pre-ordered.

Double DOUBLE Ds? Double your ratings, AMC. Do it.

Joan Holloway from Mad Men
played by Christina Hendricks

The curves, the burning red hair, the pillowy red lips. Red is the color of passion. Her every move more seductive and becoming than the next. The soft voice. The way she walks. She’s not a ho, that I know. You need money, power, respect to even catch a whiff of her. That doesn’t make her any less desirable. Break out your patented story about your burgeoning venture capital firm or hectic surgery schedule and be prepared to impersonate an oil rig.

lights out in a non-Shawne-Merriman way

Pretty much any chick from Friday Night Lights
Tami Taylor played by
Connie Britton
Tyra Collette played by Adrianne Palicki
Lyla Garrity played by Minka Kelly

Every day, I look at my Time Machine schematics and think someday, someday I will find the missing link, the flux capacitor that will send me back in time to convince my father to move our asses to Texas right when I was entering high school. The movie was pretty tight, but the show OOZES with hormonal tension. The coach’s wife can’t NOT be sexy. Even when she’s pissed at him or at the misbehaving students or overbearing parents, it looks like she’s begging for you to just sweep her off her feet, take her to the bedroom, and pamper the poop out of her. Minka Kelly is Minka Kelly but she constantly looks like she wants to be kissed and Tyra is at her hottest when she cries. I need therapy.

KaPOWskeet skeet skeet

Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell
played by Tiffani Amber-Theissen

The teased hair, the perfect smile, the chipper attitude, the lashes, the way she held her books against her boobs because she knew every Bayside broham was gawking at them. Again, one of those chicks who won’t give it up easily but when she does, you know it’s head of the class. HEAD of the CLASS. I’m here all night.

I'd like to get in her Wonderwear

Wonder Woman
played by Lynda Carter

Seems like most female superheroes these days try to be too badass. Yes, Wonder Woman was all business when she needed to be, but she flashed the pearly whites and raised an eyebrow every once in a while to let you know she was dtf. Not only dtf, but dtfdyp! Plus the lasso. The S&M freak in you goes five alarm fire when you see her holding that thing.

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