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Getting Down & Dirty With Kendra Wilkinson

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Kendra Wilkinson, most famous for being one of Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriends as seen on E!’s popular TV series The Girls Next Door, just released her very first memoir — a tell-all about her screwed up, crazy life. Here’s what you need to know about Kendra, in her own words from Sliding into Home.

1. She has major daddy issues: From the beginning of the book to the very end, Kendra talks about her dead-beat, absentee father. In fact, a lot of Kendra’s intense sexual history and extensive drug use, and overall recklessness seems to be attributed to his departure from the Wilkinson family.

2. She is a rebel without a cause: Addicted to crystal meth and cocaine before she even was a sophomore in high school, Kendra definitely is not a girl next door. Not only was Kendra kicked out of her high school, but she was put into a psych hospital for suicide attempts and self-inflicted cutting. In the book, Kendra explains her chaos: “I was f*cked up all the time and when I was coming down I got very depressed and angry. Drugs were no longer something I did for fun. The coke, weed, acid, crystal meth, alcohol, and whatever pills I could get my hands on kept my mind in a haze. They allowed me to not think, which I needed, because when I had time to think bad things happened.”

3. She likes girls … only sometimes: Kendra writes about her early experiences with girls during high school. In fact, she attributes her sportiness as a reason for her to have tried out girls: “I was into sports and got along with guys better than I did with girls, so I felt like a boy sometimes and thought maybe I could be a little bit of a lesbian.” don’t worry too much, guys, Kendra is quick to remind her audience that she is really not a lesbian after her girlfriend, her boyfriend, and her had a threesome: “Our relationship lasted on a few weeks because after the threesome I realized I missed guys.”

4. Her Sex Life is Not Normal: In the chapters about Kendra’s days at the Playboy mansion, a lot of sex talk takes place. For example, when writing about her first time in Hefner’s bedroom, she writes: “One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him…Then it was my turn. I had been taking notes in my head, so I knew about a minute was all I needed to put in. Counting the time in my head, I had sex with Hef for the first time. At about the minute mark, I pulled away and it was done. It was like a job. Clock in, clock out. or in this case, cock in, cock out.”

5. She works hard for her money: Before becoming one of Hef’s main squeezes, Kendra worked the pole at Cheetah’s strip club in San Diego where she would dance to Limp Bizkit songs and Tim McGraw’s “Something Like That.” On average, Kendra writes that she made around $2,000 a night — which is more than her $1,000 a week allowance from the Playboy mansion.

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6. She has no problem upgrading: Kendra chronicles many of her dangerous and risky drug/gang relationships throughout Sliding into Home. After being asked to be Hef’s girlfriend, Kendra did not break up with her long-term boyfriend. In fact, she just moved out and into the Playboy mansion without telling Zack what was going on. It seems like Kendra is always looking for the next best thing, which could explain how she fell for Hank Baskett!

7. She also has no problem denying relationships: Although Kendra writes the bulk of this memoir calling herself Hef’s girlfriend, she refuses to call him her “ex-boyfriend.” In fact, she prefers to call him “a friend” and sometimes even the only “father figure” she’s ever really know (hello daddy issues). While some of the book details her relationship with Hef in a positive light, the majority of it offers major creep moments where Kendra says she had sex to “get it over with.”

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8. She’s a lady in the least: From the beginning of the book to the very end, Kendra can’t help herself when it comes to saying phrases that made her famous on The Girls Next Door. For example, just about everything from her experience in high school to working as a stripper to living in the mansion makes Kendra say one thing: “Shut the f*ck up!” This phrase is used so much in the book, it’s almost a surprise that other text made it to the pages.

9. Don’t expect her to take anything seriously: Even though she pens on and on about her love with her now husband football star Hank Baskett, Kendra also writes about her constant mistakes in doing the one thing that upsets her husband the most: taking her top off in public. Kendra writes “Hank was mad, and I swore that I wouldn’t do it again.” And then she does it again. And again. And again. And again … and fills up an entire chapter dedicated to this.

10. She won’t answer your questions: Like a stripper on a pole, Kendra is constantly dancing around and in Sliding into Home, she dances from topic to topic like a toddler. Although she spills everything about her past and throws it in your face, she won’t fill in the gaps and give us the story — just what happened, but not how it happened. Want to know about her relationship with the other Girls Next Door? She’ll talk about the awkwardness and them not being best friends, despite what the media portrayed, but then she will go back a few pages later and call them her best friends. Want to know anything about the Playboy Mansion? Go ahead — ask, but expect very little. The chapters about Kendra at the mansion are some of the weakest in the book, but then again, if she is considering Hef a “father figure” — I don’t expect her to spill the beans just yet.

Bottom of the line: Sliding into Home is all talk, but no action. The stories were there, she just failed to tell them … but considering this short memoir was penned “with Jon Warech,” there is a chance Kendra herself never really wrote it to begin with.

COED Writer
The best is yet to come.