5 Steps to Joining the Mile High Club

Have you heard stories of people “joining the mile high club,” but always wondered how they do it? As it turns out, gaining membership into this club is really not all that difficult as long as you plan ahead and use caution. Which is exactly what 99% of young American men don’t do. But if you want to join the club, you’re going to have to learn quickly, because since 9/11 you simply don’t mess around on a plane unless you want to get sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Step 1. Book a flight with a willing partner. In general, your chances of success are much improved if you bring along a partner who has the same goals as you. Plan ahead, wear clothes with easy access (skirts for ladies are a must), and be clear on the plan.

Step 2. Get warmed up. You’re going to be heading to the lavatory to do the actual deed, but you want to get warmed up before heading back there so you don’t have to waste time on foreplay. This isnt about romance. This is a mission. So use a blanket or coat and cover your laps while you, you know, get the equipment ready.

Step 3. Wait for the right moment. You are going to want to use the rear bathrooms, and you also want to wait until the airline personnel are not standing around in the back. Your best bet is when they are serving drinks or food. Most passengers are also staying in their seats at this point, making the entrance/exit easier. Have one of you enter first, the other will wait to make sure nobody is looking, and then enter when its clear.

Step 4. Position. Once you both get in there, the lady (assuming man/woman action here) needs to sit on the sink and rap her legs around the guy. Don’t attempt anything more complicated, because there really isn’t enough space or time. Keep it simple.

Step 5. Quick and quiet. You don’t want anybody else knowing what you’re doing, so you want to be quick, quiet, and discreet. Don’t yell, don’t kick, and don’t linger in the afterglow. Do it and get the hell out. Exit one at a time, just like when you entered: the first person leaves, the second person locks the door quickly and waits for a little bit, then leaves also. If you’ve gotten to this point without anybody pounding on the door, you are in the clear and the newest member of the Mile High Club. Congratulations.

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