How Not to be the Obnoxious Guy on the Plane

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Our world is simply not as nice and polite as it used to be. With all the technological advancements making everything quicker, we have gotten accustomed to not waiting for anything and often not having to interact with anyone in order to get it. As a result, when many people find themselves in a place where they have to interact with people they don’t have a clue how to do it.

Take the airplane for instance. It is bad enough we pay too much for seats that are too small, but it seems as if there is always at least one obnoxious jerk in each plane. He might be the guy that lays his seat down in your lap when you’re trying to work on your computer. He could also be the guy that gets drunk and starts singing Jimmy Buffet tunes, but changes all the words. It could also be the couple that fails to realize that they are on a full plane of people while joining the mile high club (cool if the chick is hot or if it is two hot chicks, but if she is a dog then it sucks).

Maybe now you are wondering if you are that guy. The following will be a few rules to follow to make sure that you never become him.

Keep your dang shoes on!

Sandals are comfortable. When you are on long flights it can be tempting to slip out of your shoes, too. However, as your foot funk begins to make the recycled air throughout the cabin have a special, unpleasant hint to it, people may soon be looking for the oxygen mask to fall. If you absolutely must take your shoes off at least be nice enough to wear clean socks.

Leave the guy in front of you alone!

With the available space on most flights sufficient only for Pygmies, you have to be aware of every movement you make. A simple shift in your seat can send your knees deep into the back of the seat in front of you. Cross your legs and you will likely be giving him a swift kick to the back. When in a cramped spot it can be tempting to lift/balance yourself as you stand using the seat in front of you. In case the passenger in front of you  was not awake after you kicked the back of the seat, he will certainly be wide awake after you use his seat to get up.

Respect People

This goes for the flight attendants as well as your fellow travelers. Flight attendants have a routine they do for every flight and passengers with real issues. They are not there to bring you soda after soda as you and your buddy have a belching contest. It is great that you are traveling with friends and it sucks that you could not all sit together. However, it does not mean it is okay for you to stand in the aisle and hold a conversation with them while the line for the bathroom grows behind you.

Don’t Stink

Some folks have poor hygiene habits. Those people are the ones that are hated by everyone within smelling distance. Don’t skip the shower in order to get a little sleep. Whatever you do—do not splash on extra cologne thinking it will make up for your funk!

Use your Inside Voice

Some people are very loud talkers — and those are always the people that sit behind you and talk about the fat girl they hooked up with in great detail. There is no reason why anyone should know what or who you did something with at anytime during your life. Be aware that there are at least 6-10 people sitting very close to you that do not care what you think of the chicken sandwich the flight attendant just gave you. Talk like you would in a movie theater; loud enough for the person next to you to hear, but quiet enough so that no one else does.

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