Typically speaking, women are mentally unstable. Any guy that has to sit through more than five minutes of Real Housewives of New Jersey can attest to that. That’s why it’s so important in this day and age of E-Harmony meet-ups and Match.com gangbangs, that men be extra cautious about how they meet women. Avoid these places and you might just be able to find someone who is sane, normal, and unlikely to murder you in your sleep.
1. Outside a Bar – There’s no rational reason to hang around outside a bar. The second you see someone leaning nonchalantly against the outside bar wall, get on guard (especially if she’s not smoking). Odds are that she’s under 21, she’s illegally stalking someone inside, or she’s ramping up for a tear-filled phone call that will result in her losing at least one friend.
2. High School – C’mon you’re just asking for trouble if you’re cruising around the high school parking lot looking for bored girls on their study hall break. Forget jail time, you’re looking at some serious sexting drama complete with having to listen to complaints about how the last Twilight film was too short. And don’t even get me started on how awkward it will be when you have to point out she has something stuck in her braces.
3. The Mall – Whether you’re thinking of picking up chicks walking around shopping or picking up chicks handing out free samples in the mall, you’re thinking wrong. Nothing good comes from meeting girls outside of Hot Topics. Exception to this rule: You’re starring in a John Hughes movies from the 1980s.
4. WebMd Forum – Yeah at first it’s kinda cute that you met via the Irritable Bowel Syndrome chat room. But then the cuteness fades off when you’re stuck living with someone with major clinical problems that are not only gross, but capable of taking away all your pity attention. Romantic double dates suddenly turn into an awkward competition where you’re trying to out symptom each other.
5. Men’s Room– Girls who just can’t control themselves long enough to wait in line for the ladies room are bad news from the start. I mean we’re talking about women who are so out of touch with their bodies that they don’t realize they have to pee until it’s emergency -go-go-go-I’ll-pee-in-a-urinal-whatever-time. Think she’s cute and spontaneous now — just wait until you see all the other out-of-touch and wacky decisions shes makes.
6. A funeral – Forget having respect for the recently deceased. This is more about staying away from someone with such limited boundaries that she would gladly and shamelessly flirt with you at a graveyard. I guess she might look great in black, but how is she going to look when she’s she’s on trial for murdering you a few years down the line because she met someone hotter at her uncle’s memorial service.
7. A family reunion – It doesn’t matter how far removed you are or if she’s your tenth cousin. Nothing good will come of interbreeding. Can you imagine how awkward the wedding will be when everyone realizes that the groom’s family and the bride’s family are one in the same.